#seth says may

[deadsnothere]

Drunk Stable Girl

Synopsis - A heartfelt conversation in the dining room of the party.

Masterlist

WARNINGS! - INTOXICATION

Request - nope

Word Count - 1.5k

Speak Ali! - I'm boreeeeddd send in request for either Lockwood or Cynthia and i will try my best to get them done!!

Richie, who picked up the T-birds car, was now on the way to Jane's house with four of five Pink ladies in the car.

Apparently there was an emergency campaign meeting and it was their tias birthday, and if there's something I know about hispanic parties, they don't disappoint. Once we pulled up to Jane's house the two people in the front seats, Olivia and Richie both got out and started hitting her window with pebbles while Nancy, Cynthia, and I were sitting and leaning against the car. Once she opened the window, I threw Olivia Jane's jacket and she held it up to her. “You forgot this.” Jane looked sad from the window, but at the same time I forgot my glasses at home and couldn't tell. “You don’t have to give it back” Well now she sounds disappointed. “I know I let you guys down.”

“No kidding” Cynthia said from the cover of the tire to the T Birds car. “Exactly.” I spoke next, In Between Cynthia’s dangling legs. “That's for sure,” Nancy said last, leant on the car beside us. We all got a dirty look from Olivia before she turned back to Jane to try and cheer her up. “We can fix this! emergency campaign meeting, my house. Let's go.” she nodded her head towards the car while poor richie started to get antsy. Jane looked back into her room as if Olivia were crazy. “Now?!” Olivia looked back at her as if saying “Yeah!” Jane was now leaning halfway out of the window. “You want me to sneak out?!” Poor antsy Richie finally got a word in. “It's my Tia’s birthday! We're having a party.” I yelled out after. “Yeah! And this is a party you don't wanna miss.” He looked over to me, giving me an air high five before going back to jane. “Come on, you really gonna leave me hanging out here again?” AGAIN?? I looked up to Cynthia who looked just as confused.

Jane smiled at us and waved us away, saying “go” but we all knew she was coming with us. I grabbed Cynthia's hand, picked her up and threw her into the backseat gently. Knowing I’d have to sit on her lap for all of us to fit anyways. She looked surprised but accepted her fate. I took my jacket off and put my hair into a ponytail climbing in after her and sitting down in my rightful spot.

–

When we walked into the house there was Spanish music playing on a record player and people dancing on hardwood floors. Cynthia, who held my hands and closed the door behind me, was looking around the house, interested in the different decor. Finally bringing out attention back to the dance floor which I was killing to kick my shoes off and start dancing on. Cynthia had already started pulling me and Nancy away. “We're gonna grab some grub for this- business meeting.” she dragged me into the kitchen while I dramatically reached for Richie's mother who was my normal dance partner at these parties.

Nancy hung her jacket up on the door nob, while I kept mine over my shoulder, my skirt was flowy and perfect for dancing while being tight at the top and showing my curves off perfectly. “What are we going to talk about anyways?” Cynthia said while holding a plate filled with food. “I mean, I feel for her.” I snorted laughing. “I don't-” Cynthia gave me a soft glare before kicking me in the shin and continuing to talk. “she made us look like cowards!” I looked over to her with a raised eyebrow. “She made ya’ll look like cowards.” She glared at me, a bit more aggressively this time. “And I’m no coward! You're a singer, shut up.” Nancy agreed. “Me neither.”

Nancy, Cynthia, and I had finally spotted the holy grail of every hispanic party. “Ooh, mezcal!” Nancy had the idea first. “Let's chug it.” at the time it sounded amazing. I was nodding, while Cynthia looked a bit nervous. “Yeah..Ok.” Nancy picked up the bottle and put it out towards her with a smile on her face. “You first.” Cynthia looked offended, saying back. “You first.” World's greatest come back-

Nancy and Cynthia both looked down at the bottle nervously, Nancy who was practically saying, ‘Fuck it, let’s throw the god damn balls to the wall.” Popped open the bottle, slowly tilted it up against her mouth and started chugging. She drank a good bit of it before she finally stopped. I know it burnt the back of her throat and BAD. Cynthia was looking at her as if she was crazy. Nancy was groaning either in disgust or pain, as she slammed the bottle back down on the table making a face to tell me it was definitely disgust. Nancy looked to Cynthia in a “Your turn” kinda way nodding her head at her. “Well now your mouths been on it.” Nancy looked over to me, I put my hands up in defense, in the moment I couldn't do anything. “So you are a coward.”

Nancy taunted Cynthia, I hope that doesn't set her off “No, I'm not!” Cynthia was getting defensive looking away from me and Nancy. “Then do it!” I stood back watching this go down. They moved towards the other side of the small round table across from me. “Don't be a fraidy cat!” She kept taunting Cynthia, her hands wrapped around the bottle and Cynthia's hands in her pockets. Just to add fuel to the fire she started meowing and hissed as much as I want to say I didn't laugh…I did-

“Stop it?!” Cynthia wigged out on Nancy looking over at me to, for laughing. “I'm not afraid!” She practically cried. Nancy, who as much as she was aware was joking, looked surprised. “What happened?” she looked over at me, who didn't look as shocked as her but definitely more apologetic. “I'm sorry..” While Cynthia was rubbing her eyebrow, trying to make sense of whatever was going on in her head. She sighed “I just don't like being laughed at.” From the corner I reminded them I was there by speaking. “You like when people laugh with you.” I tried my best to cheer her up, hoping to redeem myself.

Cynthia looked up at me for a millisecond before trailing her eyes down. “Those stupid thespians!” Oh god here we go again- She’d spent 15 minutes complaining about the thespians at my house when she drove me home on her motorcycle. “With their stupid black shark eyes, Just staring at you, waiting for you to look like an idiot!” She went on ranting, while Nancy and I just stood there confused. “So?” Nancy looked dead serious. “Just be an idiot with them and they can't laugh at you.” I nodded towards Nancy as if it was obvious. Cynthia was really thinking about it. “Maybe that's what being fearless is anyway.” Nancy now looked dead serious, walking closer to Cynthia, I finally made my way to their side of the table standing in between them both. “Maybe that's what being a pink lady is.” Nancy said swaying. “Maybe I'm really drunk now.”

Cynthia looked down at the bottle with almost fear. I was confused so I looked at it too. “Nancy.” Oh my god- “The worm is gone-” I think I almost threw up- Nancy lifted the bottle up to look inside it. “I can feel it inside me.” EUH- NO. NO. Cynthia grabbed the bottle from Nancy and chugged about a shot and a half worths, while plugging her nose. For some reason Nancy did this little shoulder shimmy towards the floor while Cynthia struggled. When she put the bottle down, she made a disgusted face and groaned in disgust to, coughing her lungs up. I smiled laughing at them both, grabbed the bottle from Cynthia and chugged the rest of it with ease. wiping my mouth and I stuck my tongue out to try and get the taste off. Both Nancy and Cynthia were staring at me like I was crazy, because of the reaction I gave, or lack of.

Cynthia made an audible gulp before reaching up to kiss me with one hand and covering Nancy's eyes with the other. “MMMPH-” I was surprised by the kiss at first but didn’t pull away until Nancy got free from Cynthia's grasp and ran off into the living room. “That- that was hot.” She was stuttering and her face was blushing red but it was pretty cute. I pulled her lips into mine, pushed her against the wall to the left of us and grasped onto her shirt. “You taste like drunk.” She giggled out, in between heavy breaths.

“I think you're the drunk one-” She looked up and down my body, licking her lips and lazily trailing kisses down my neck. “I may be drunk, but I'm sure you’re pretty!” I laughed pushing her head away from my neck. “Than you'll also know that you can't do that here, come on stable girl we got places to go.” She laughed at the name, attaching herself to my waist. “Yay! I get to be with my princess..” I laughed back at her, my vision only a bit blurry but I'm also more tolerant than her, my poor poor stable girl.

[softgrungeprophet]

I need help making a decision

My original plan was Seth but I've heard that Rook is very peppy even if you try to play a more serious one, and Seth is like... while not unfriendly, they don't necessarily have that kind of demeanor. (Playing them in Inquisition I had to make them British because the male human voice is like sooooo overly brash and masculinely confident lol)

TJ and Naomi are much more cheerful characters, so might fit that better.

pics below:

Seth: would be a qunari

initial plan was mage (which is their class in my current DA:I run) but I realized that a warrior reaper fits their aesthetic way more lol like yes i wanna give the devil-themed death-powered character a scythe... Probably mournwatch, despite the awful default color palette (lol)... like crow is more aesthetically right but thematically doesn't really make sense for them.

TJ:

probably a warrior champion for class goal, since it involves a lot of explosions and is pretty tanky, afaict from the info screen, which imo suits TJ pretty well. also definitely a lord of fortune.

I haven't made Naomi in the CC demo like I did for the other two, so for reference, a drawing:

probably a very small elf, and likely a rogue with knives, as opposed to archer (which is normally my go-to, since i tend to favor ranged weapons in games) Would likely be either a grey warden or a veil jumper... depending

i suppose I could also do Tama as a dwarf or something and go for... also a rogue w/ a focus on traps and stuff... even if no piercings 😔 (not unexpected lol, in fact i did a no-piercings Tama for my Ryder in ME:A)

my past inquisitor will be Qela, since she is my main (and only completed) Inquisition save, so I don't plan on playing her as a Rook esp since I have so many other characters to play around with and it would be fun to explore classes and not just do the same female elf archery-based rogue I normally go for :P

[clericofinfamy]

roman reigns - third times a charm?

no idea how the story will go but if anything, roman seems to have a habit of getting backstabbed by those closest to him… but maybe three is the bloodlines lucky number. 🩸

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

jonah: they killed paige.... she'd just gotten her wings :(((

seth: who was it. i'll beat the shit out of them. i'm sure paige was pure

jonah: it wasn't her time to go... :(( *tears start*

seth: it'll be okay, kid. it'll be okay. how about you have a funereal for her with cesar and gabriel? i'll be there by the end of it, i promise

jonah: *sniff* ...okay...

i know we all focus on cesar and seth being father and son but also. if jonah and seth got closer, seth would be the daddest dad ever to him. especially in the return timeline.

YEAH I agree.

I do think Jonah and Seth would actually be good friends if Jonah had the time to get to know him.

Though. He does have time now, when talking about the return au

[tomwambscunts]

The real beef is between me and seth meyers for showing a photo of dog head man (2021) sketch with martin herlihy and talking about it as if it was andrew dismukes 😭

[cowgurrrl]

She’s A Gun

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Author’s note: *John Mulaney voice* My wife is a bitch and I love her SO much (gif by @salome-c) I also didn’t know how to end this so sorry

Summary: Somebody didn’t give the new guy a heads up about talking about Joel Miller’s family [1.6k]

Warnings: idiots in love, a quick mention of a queer slur, I can’t think of anything else!!

You catch him looking at you across the room as you sip some new whiskey Tommy traded for. He looks young and fresh-faced without many scars or littering the surface of his skin. His eyes are bright when they meet yours, and you give him a polite smile before returning to your drink. Unsurprisingly, he bellies up to the bar a few minutes later. You glance at the door, and the man follows your gaze. 

"You meeting someone?" He asks. The bartender, a kind man named Nick, flashes you a look, but you wave him off, turning to the younger man, who is dead set on making his presence known. 

"You must be new." You say, and he laughs as he holds out his hand. 

"You got me. I'm Luke," He says. You meet him halfway and shake his hand, giving him your name. "Where are you from?"

"I came here from Boston."

"You're a long way from home. What brought you here?" 

"Long story."

"Is it longer than the time it would take to get you another drink?" 

"I can get my own drink, but thank you."

"'Course," he says but doesn't move from his place next to you. "What do you do here in Jackson?" He asks, and you open your mouth to say something, but he cuts you off. "Let me guess. School teacher. No, a nurse."

"I work patrols, but good guess."

"Oh, I'm going to work patrols, too. I actually just signed up for my first shift tomorrow. Speaking of which, do you know anything about this guy… Miller, I think, is his name. I heard he's a hard ass."

"Joel or Tommy?"

"There's multiple?" He asks, and you smirk as you sip your drink.

"There's a few of 'em hanging around, yeah. What did they say? Maybe I can," you shrug and try to hide the amusement in your voice. "Help you figure it out."

"Well, this guy, Seth, said Miller shouldn't even be in Jackson. Something about him killing people to get by before coming here, but he gets to stay because he's buddies with Maria. Apparently, he's a hell of a shot, though. I heard a rumor that he once shot an Infected from a mile away, but I'll believe it when I see it." He says, and you nod. 

You remember that day well. Tommy had been bragging about his marksmanship, mostly telling big fish stories, and you finally got sick of it. Joel told you to leave it, but you had to see. When you went on patrol the next day, you and Tommy had a competition to see how far he could actually shoot. You passed the gun back and forth to see who could hit accurately and how far. You were the one holding the gun when the Infected bound his way up the hill and quickly went down as the bullet buried in his skull. You didn't think that story would've made the rounds, though. 

"What else did Seth say?" You ask, and he puffs his cheeks out as he shakes his head.

"He told me to stay away from him. Something about not fucking with people like that because he's ruthless, especially when it comes to his kid. He said Miller yelled at him last week because he said something to her. Just... totally lost his mind like a crazy person." It wasn't just something. He called my daughter a dyke, you think to yourself. Joel may have pushed him and made him leave, but you threatened to ruin his fucking life. If you ever hear him say something like that to Ellie again, you'll make Joel look like the poster child for forgiveness. You bite the inside of your cheek and save that information for later. 

Seth wasn't warning Luke about Joel. He was warning him about you.

"And you're sure he was talking about a man?"

"Pretty sure. I mean, I know people do lots of shitty things to stay alive, but I can't imagine a woman instilling that much fear in a man like Seth," He says, and you hum. "No offense."

"None taken." You smile and watch his guard come down just enough for him to feel comfortable reaching for your arm.

"I wish I had known they let women as beautiful as you out on patrol. I would've signed up with you instead of Miller." He says, and you almost gag. Joel's hand skims your lower back almost as if on cue, and you turn to face him. He kisses you a second too long before looking over your shoulder to face the stranger who looks embarrassed. His arm wraps protectively around your middle, and he's close enough that you can smell his shampoo over the bar’s stench of stale beer.

"Great timing. This is Luke. He's starting patrols tomorrow," You say. Joel reaches across the space to shake his hand, and Luke winces at his too-tight grip. "Luke, this is my husband, Joel Miller," you wish you had a camera to take a picture of the stunned look on his face when he hears the last name. "Joel, we were just talking about the last time I was on patrol with Tommy."

"You're Miller?" Luke asks, suddenly looking pale. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Oh, I thought I mentioned it. I'm sorry, I'm probably losing my mind." You echo Seth's words and smack yourself on the forehead dramatically. Luke drains his drink before glancing around the room.

"It was great to meet you, man. Um, I'm gonna run to the bathroom really fast." He says and takes several steps away from the bar. 

"Oh, so soon? I was hoping you and Joel could talk about routes."

"Maybe later." He says, and with that, he's gone. You smile and turn in Joel's arms to face him.

"Jesus, I thought he was going to have a heart attack. What did you say to him?" 

"Seth was warning him about the mercenary who's buddies with Maria and shot an Infected from a mile away, asked if I knew anything about the guy."

"Seth should learn to keep his fuckin' mouth shut." He grumbles, and you nod.

"It didn't help his case that he tried flirting with me. Even asked if I was a school teacher." You say, and he gives you a look. His warm fingers reach under your shirt collar to pull out the chain with your wedding band on it.

"Maybe if you actually wore this, that wouldn't happen so often."

"C'mon, everybody knows I'm yours. It's not my fault no one gave him the run down," you say, and he tugs on the chain to kiss you, his big hands moving to hold your jaw. He swallows your gasp when he licks into your mouth, sending a zing of electricity down your spine. He's a touch too handsy for a public space, but you're not complaining. "I don't see you wearing yours out on patrol either." You say, pulling away before he can start something he can't finish, at least not in public. Still, his hand slips into your back pocket, squeezing your ass through the denim.

"Don't want to lose a finger. Besides, everybody knows I'm yours," he parrots, and you smile. A familiar, old country song plays over the speakers, and Joel lights up at the first few chords. "Will you dance with me?" He asks, pressing light kisses to your jaw to butter you up. You lock your arms around his shoulders and let yourself forget about everyone else in the bar. 

"And to think there was a time when you hated PDA."

"That was before someone tried hittin' on my wife," he says, and you feel like your face will get stuck from smiling so much. It's been three months since the small backyard wedding officiated by Tommy and Maria. Ellie walked you down the aisle— more of a patch of grass than anything else— and acted as your maid of honor. When Tommy asked if she agreed to give you to Joel, she said, "it's not like she's fucking property, but sure." She beamed so brightly when she realized you each included her in your vows, promising to love and protect her as much as you love and protect each other. It wasn't planned, but the unexpected matching further proved that you three are a family. Still, you don't know if you'll ever get used to hearing Joel call you his wife. "Dance with me, please." He pouts into your neck, and you finally give in, grabbing his hand and leading him to the dance floor. 

He pulls you close, and you bury your face in his neck as you slowly dance to Tanya Tucker's voice. He sings along for only you to hear, his accent getting stronger as he does. You could stay like this forever, wrapped up in him and listening to him sing the same song you used to sing along to while driving on backroads. You would marry him again if you could. You think you would marry him in every lifetime.

Scary rumors of mercenaries and blood on your hands fade from your mind. To men like Seth and Luke, you are a subversion of their holy mother. You are bloody and broken, a monster beyond saving. You are a warzone with a heartbeat.

But to Joel, you are the most sacred thing he's ever held. It's not enough to erase the rumors and nightmares about you, but it's enough to knock the wind out of you and make you love your husband that much more. That has to count for something. 

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Tag list: @evyiione

[leth-writes]

If you have time could I request the wolf pack x reader who gets really drunk and just starts rambling about how much they love there bf but like in embarrassing level of detail that the other pack members definitely didn't need to hear

Have a good day❤️

To set the scene, you’re at a bonfire, the rest of the pack around you. It’s hard to judge how much you’re drinking when everyone around you has super metabolisms and towers above you; you’ve had way too much to drink and you’ve passed that warm, comfortably drunk stage into loopy and constantly laughing.

You’re bubbly and flopping down on the lap of your boyfriend, arms wrapping around his neck like a vice and trying to yank him down to kiss you. Yet, he refuses; to you, it’s a rejection, but he’s just worried about you. Also, smashing foreheads doesn’t sound very pleasant. Entranced by the way the firelight flickers over his handsome features, you feel an urge to tell him how much you love him, maybe in a vain attempt to get him to finally lean down and kiss you.

“I love youuuuu so much, I wish I could be with you all the timeeeeee. Even when you’re a wolf, I’ll just climb on your back and hang on like a little spidermonkey… Why don’t you wanna kiss me? I just wanna make out, pleaseeeee I can’t go without you anymore, why won’t you kiss me? I love your face, please come hereeeee…”

Sam

Groans, though he always loves hearing the confirmation of your feelings. Sam is naturally reserved and so the two of you aren’t huge on PDA, but this is basically affirming how crazy you are for him. Secretly loves having you on his lap, slurring your words as you confess your deepest feelings and thoughts toward him. Everyone else hates learning so much about the private life of their pack leader, and they all cover their ears or boo at you, trying to get you to stop talking.

Paul

Doesn’t give you much time to confess your love, he’s already spilling his guts back. Everyone hates how sappy you two are, it’s almost as bad as the constant PDA and making out, you on his lap, or the various times people have walked in on you two. The pack is happy for you, but they’d like to be happy for you from farther away. Please stop.

Jacob

Smirks. He knew you cared about him, but face it, Jacob loves having his ego inflated. Having such an attractive person, his partner nonetheless, sitting on his lap and pouring their heart out really confirms his deepest wishes; now he knows you care about him just as deeply as he cares about you. The nature of imprinting naturally creates a power imbalance, so having you just confirm how you feel really makes him happy. The others can feel him gloating already, and probably throw hot dog buns at his head. Sam tells him to take you home.

Embry

Beams from ear to ear. He loves hearing how you feel about him. He knows he isn’t the biggest or loudest personality in the pack; sometimes he worries that you wish you were with one of the taller, hotter members of the pack. Hearing your innermost feelings about him helps wash away those insecurities. The rest of the pack is just happy he isn’t feeling so insecure, so they don’t even mind hearing your entire train of thought.

Quil

Gets a little flustered; while Quil loves a playful flirting session, he usually keeps it light and fluffy. Having you tell him how amazing you think he is, detailing everything you admire about him, not all of it even physical, really hits that soft emotional core he buries in humor. The others find it sappy; Paul fake-vomits.

Seth

SO FLUSTERED. Oh my god how could you say this to such an innocent soul. He may be 19 but he’s been treated like the baby of the pack for years, he isn’t used to being talked to like the way you’re talking to him. Especially considering you, sensing his innocence, tend to keep your conversations on the lighter side. Hearing every thought you have about him, including the physical parts of him you find attractive, really gets him blushing. The others tease him for being so innocent.

[mermaidgirl30]

✨Slip Into Me part 2: Crash Into Me✨

QZ! Joel Miller x fem! reader

Series Masterlist

A/N: I really really love this Joel, and I love @alltheirdamn for letting me scream about these two with her 🩵 QZ! Joel is making me swoon 💕

Summary: After getting caught in the rain, Joel pulls you into his apartment. But you get much more than you bargained for from the brooding, broad man. You might’ve just fell for his chocolate eyes and soft Texas voice.

Rating: Explicit 18+ only MDNI

Word Count: 12.2k

Chapter Tags: Tension, yearning, teasing, protective and soft Joel, no use y/n, teasing, oral (fem receiving), unprotected piv, cream pie, age gap (female late 20’s, Joel is 50), switching POVs, QZ! Joel

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

  As the weeks go by in the sweltering summer, you start to see Joel Miller everywhere. When you’re organizing and polishing weapons for FEDRA, you sometimes see him walk by. He always looks like he’s on a mission. Furrowed brows, a scowl across his sculpted face, a large hand running through his tousled greying locks, a bite to his words when he’s deep in conversation with one of the FEDRA soldiers. 

   He seems to command people around him, acts as if he is the one ordering them around. You see they listen to him as he bites out a snarl their way, see the way they almost cower and can’t seem to keep eye contact when he’s giving them valuable information. You should be afraid of him, you think, but you’re not. You’re only intrigued more and more every single time you see him snap demands and push people to the edge. 

   He’s strong, broad, dominant. He likes to be in control, loves to push the soldiers to their breaking point like he did with Seth. He knows how to get his way, knows exactly how to play games with FEDRA. 

   He could snap the neck of any man that even tried to get their hands on him or order him around. His menacing gaze is all it takes for them to back off enough, drop whatever argument they try to start. You know this because you’ve been watching him on the streets when you work, stealing glances every second you can when you see the tall, broad man who saved you so many nights ago. Now you’re hooked. 

   You catch his dark brown eyes on you all the time, flicking amber shades your way when he catches you off guard while you’re working. You feel the heat in your cheeks burn hot when his eyes skate down your body, pretending like you don’t even notice. You notice, though. You always notice. 

   His looks aren’t harsh and threatening when he looks at you. His eyes are softer, jaw relaxed when he gazes your way. It calms you, like floating in a crystal clear lake in the middle of a quiet forest. Sometimes he nods your way, brushes against your shoulder as he passes you by on the busy streets, says a few words here and there in the dining hall. It’s like clockwork now, your favorite thing of every day is just to get your eyes on him. Even if it’s just a flicker of his broad shoulders disappearing in a sea of people or a brush of his fingertips in the dinner line.

   Sometimes when you’re focused on sorting through weapons, you can feel his eyes on you. He watches, stares with those hungry brown eyes. You’re not sure what exactly he’s hungry for, but you can tell he’s starving for something, begging for a taste of whatever that may be. 

   You feel his vision burn holes through your skin, feel the sweat glide down your skin when you look up and lock eyes with him. It makes you dizzy, makes you choke on a gasp when he focuses intently on you. He watches you day after day, this much you know. You don’t exactly know why, but maybe he’s trying to be protective, watching you from a distance to make sure you don’t get into any more trouble. You don’t mind. In fact, you prefer him to. Having a handsome, older man looking out for you is the last thing you expected here in the Boston QZ, but it made living here that much better. 

   He sees you shining FEDRA weapons day after day, watches the way you take careful attention to wipe every speck of grime off the sturdy edges of the guns. Sometimes you don’t look up, too busy working to notice him staring your way. 

   He tries not to look, careful to not stare too long, afraid he’ll awaken something he shouldn’t ever feel again. But when you lift your face and catch his eyes, he can’t help but stop and stare for just a few seconds too long. He thinks your eyes are the most beautiful shades of gemstones he’s ever seen, sparkling like glitter when they catch the rays of golden sunlight. 

   He sucks in a breath, clenching his jaw before he turns and gets back to work. He hates to admit that he finds you attractive, glowers at the fact that he cares what happens to you. 

   He shouldn’t dare start the cycle, shouldn’t walk the narrow ledge of developing feelings for a girl, especially a younger, absolutely gorgeous girl like yourself. He’d be a foolish man to even entertain the idea of thinking of you that way. But he’s fucked either way, so why not break his own rules. Hell, he already broke those rules when he fucking dreamt of you the other night. Your body splayed wide across his sheets, sweat collecting like rain over his skin every time he tasted the sweet jasmine scent of you, his lips crowding yours while your nails dragged down his back, your moans filling the shell of his ear with lust and want. 

   He snaps himself out of the moment and continues on with his day, giving you one more flick of his greedy eyes while you watch him walk the opposite way all wide-eyed and intrigued. He’s so fucking stupid for wanting you, but he can’t lie to himself that he’s not interested. Ever since he saved you from that piece of shit Seth, he’s wanted to take care of you. That’s the last thing he needs. Someone else to look after, but maybe he can keep himself away. 

   He chuckles to himself, scoffing at his own arrogance. Of course he can’t stay away, at least not for long. He’s fucking hooked off a girl that wandered into the QZ gates just a few months ago looking for a means to find a home. You didn’t come looking for him, but he sure as hell found you. 

   And now he’s fucked.

   The end of a long work day drags to a close when you scuff your feet over the warm pavement. The sky is murky, dark clouds collecting above you that threaten rain at any second. You make your way down the filthy streets, passing soldiers that brush past you and look you over as if you’re trouble. You just roll your eyes and huff, carrying yourself back to the warmth of your own falling apart apartment walls. At least there FEDRA can’t see you, can’t order you around like they do day after day.

   The humid air fills your lungs, the dark clouds opening up to patter rain down on your tired shoulders. Just a little longer, a few more feet and you’ll be inside. Almost there. Almost. 

   All of a sudden, you collide with a broad chest that feels like a thick brick wall. You gasp, thinking it’s a FEDRA soldier, eyes wide with fear until you look up and find familiar syrupy eyes, softer than the last time you saw them. Joel.

   He clasps a hand around your bicep and stops you dead in your tracks. “Well, look what we got here. In a hurry there, darlin’?” He smiles down at you, a crooked grin splayed across his plush lips, a trail of dust covering the top of his forehead, lines mapped out as he knits his thick eyebrows together. 

   Sheesh. He looks so good.

   “Just heading back home.” You give him a tight-lipped smile, not giving away the heat that builds underneath your warm cheeks. 

   “I see.” His eyes rake up and down your body, just a mere couple seconds. Enough to simmer heat low in your stomach. “You doin’ okay? Seth ain’t givin’ ya anymore trouble, is he?” His jaw ticks just the slightest, irises darkening as he thinks about the night he attacked Seth.

   You shake your head, crossing your arms to taper off the nerves running wildly through your veins. “I’m okay. Just getting by. And no, Seth hasn’t even crossed paths with me since that night he… since you…” Your voice falls off as you swallow the words. Since he saved you.

   He nods his head, a small smirk appearing like he might’ve said something else to Seth without you knowing. You can see him pushing Seth against the wall, his meaty hands wrapped tightly around Seth’s shirt, black eyes narrowing while he bites a sharp demand to stay away from you. And that’s exactly what you think he did. 

   Your eyes grow wide at the realization. He was like a protective watchdog, always ready to snarl his teeth and attack if someone messed with what was his. But you aren’t his, so why did he feel the need to even do that for you?

   His head cocks to the side, a lazy smile sliding across his lips, making his coffee colored eyes shine that much brighter. Jesus. He’s so fucking hot. 

   “Might’ve straightened him out. I’ve been keepin’ an eye on him. Don’t worry ‘bout him. It’s taken care of.”

   You stand there staring, mouth agape like you’ve got a speech impediment, words stumbling out of your mouth like you’re in front of a full gym giving a speech. “Oh. You didn’t have to… I mean, I could’ve handled it.”

   “Didn’t seem like it,” he mutters, dark eyes pooling in your vision as he shifts his weight, the tight denim button-up clinging to strong arms, biceps bulging with every moment he makes in the heat of the day. 

   You groan, biting the inside of your cheek before you say something stupid. He relaxes his jaw and gives you a smirk like he’s up to no good. When you don’t say anything else, he mutters another sentence. “FEDRA keepin’ you on your toes?”

   “How’d you guess?” you huff, eyes locked on his tightly.

   He chuckles and gives you a slight shrug of his broad shoulders. “I’ve seen you around. Workin’ on shining those weapons. See how miserable you look.”

   You gawk at him, unbelief in your wide eyes. “So you’ve been watching me?” You cross your arms and cock your hips, one eyebrow raising as you wait for his answer.

   He pushes his thick fingers through his sweat-filled tousled curls and stutters, ticking his jaw as he looks carefully at you. “No, that’s not… I’ve jus’ seen you around the QZ. That’s all.” He leaves it at that with a disgruntled huff.

   You take your tongue and run it along your bottom teeth, assessing the lie that falls right out of his mouth. You know he’s lying through his teeth. You’ve seen him watching you, day after day. He can’t fool you, but you play along with his little game. “Hmm. Okay then.” He gives you one more cautious look and flexes his fingers, pushing them deep inside his pockets. 

   Before he can say anything else, rain starts pelting down, soaking through your worn t-shirt as you try to cover your hair. “Shit. C’mon, let’s get out of the rain.” He grabs you by your bicep and leads you up his staircase, out of the drizzling rain. You mindlessly follow him, thankful to get out of the soon to be monsoon. And then there you are, standing in his quiet living room, just like that day he took care of you after the FEDRA incident.

   “You want some tea?” he asks as he slams the door, sliding past you as he stalks into the dimly lit kitchen.

   “Ummm yeah, sure,” you answer as you watch him get some tea bags and mugs out of the stained cabinet.

   “Tea ain’t my usual choice, but it sure beats havin’ nothin’. Shit, what I wouldn’t do for a fresh pot of coffee,” he sighs as he starts to boil hot water over the stove.

   You lean against the chipped kitchen counter, twiddling your thumbs nervously as you listen to the rain fall softly on the glass window, your eyes looking up through your long lashes as you watch Joel work. He paces impatiently, tapping his thumb against the worn-out fridge, his denim button-up straining against thick biceps every time he flexes his arms.

   How can he be so hot and dismantled at the same time? It shouldn’t be allowed.

   Gulping, you take a breath and say the first thing that comes to mind. “How did you like your coffee?”

   He turns his head quickly, his threaded eyebrows relaxing slightly, giving you a once over, a move that makes you shiver in place. “Jus’ black.”

   “No creamer?” you smile.

   “Does it look like I like creamer?” He gives you a stern look, but all you can do is shrug and give him a tight-lipped smile to try to alleviate his grumpiness.

   “I dunno. Guess a tough man like you doesn’t like sweet things in their life?” 

   He ticks his jaw and laughs, running a palm down his patchy beard slowly. “Ain’t nothin’ sweet in my life, darlin’.”

   “Would you want something sweet in your life?” Your eyes grow wide at the realization of what you just said. You were basically asking him if he wanted you. What the hell did you do that for?

   His chocolate eyes grow a shade darker as he assesses you, one eyebrow raising in curiosity while his mouth stays in a firm line. 

   Great, now he’s even more grumpy.

   But ever so slowly, he answers with a hint of amusement in his deep voice. “Depends on who’s askin’, I guess.” 

   The room grows silent as you look down at your dirt-covered boots mindlessly, nerves pounding through your skull. When you have the guts to look up again, his eyes are still fixed on you. And suddenly, the room grows ten degrees hotter. 

   You’re about to say something stupid, but he drops his gaze and tends to the tea. Apparently, it started to boil over when sweat pricked the back of your neck after he looked at you like there was fire licking his dark brown irises. 

   You wonder what it’d feel like to lick along his…

   “Here.” Joel interrupts your heated thoughts and hands you a ceramic mug, the warm tea steaming out of the top, surrounding your senses with a hint of citrus and honey. He nods to the table and demands you sit, his eyes swarming yours as he takes a place across from you, a blue mug of his own in his large hand, fingers curled over the sturdy handle.

   You carefully sit against the rickety wooden chair, gently blowing on your tea, cooling it down just like your body needs. Joel puts you on edge, and it’s terrifying that you feel this way about him. You should be very afraid of a man of his stature. He could kill a man in a split second but oddly, that just makes you feel at peace.

   An awkward silence falls over the room, the pelting rain against the window the only noise to save you from your racing thoughts. He saved you, took you in yet again, gave you a place to shelter from the rain, made you tea. You should thank him. You will thank him.

   Taking a generous sip from the citrus flavored tea, you clear your throat and meet his dark eyes with yours. “Umm, thank you, again.”

   “For what?” He sets his cup against the dusty table and shifts his eyes back to yours, something like surprise taking light.

   “For getting me out of the rain and for the tea.”

   He nods his head, and a faint smile shadows his plush mouth. “It was nothin’. Don’t mention it.” A slight grunt leaves his lips when he slides to the back of his chair, his tousled curls moving ever so faintly with the movement. Silver threads line his sandy hair, and you can’t help but to wonder what it’d feel like to run your fingers through it. It probably feels like silk. Smooth and velvety. 

   Rain continues pounding against the brick building, shades of muted greys lining the outside sky, night drawing near. Your eyes shift to the corner of the room, and you notice an old acoustic guitar with worn-out strings, still intact. 

   Leaning forward and nodding to the guitar, you say, “You play?”

   Joel whips his head around and huffs when his knee knocks against the leg of the wooden chair. “Mhm. Played a long time. Found it in an abandoned building out on a run. Figured it needed a new home.”

   Taking a second to assess his calm features, you pry just a little more, clearing the air. “Would you play something?”

   His jaw ticks, threading his eyebrows together in concentration. “You don’t wanna hear me play,” he laughs, shaking his tousled curls in return. 

   “Please?” you whisper gently, making puppy eyes at him, hoping the innocent look can convince him enough. 

   He looks at you intently, his eyes softening just the slightest, flexing his fingers like he’s trying to resist. He wants to resist but ultimately, he ends up giving in when you push him that much further with a small smile.

   “Oh, Christ. Fine. Why the hell not?” He grunts as he raises to his feet, heavy boots dragging over the thick flooring. Watching him grab the rustic guitar and bringing it back to his chair, he collapses and crosses one leg over his knee and positions the guitar securely in his arms. “Jus’ don’t give me a hard time. The guitar’s out of tune, and I’m out of practice,” he scoffs.

   “I would never,” you smile, feeling a blush creep along your cheeks as his eyes flick to yours for just a couple seconds, enough to make your stomach flutter from the contact. 

   He drops his head back down and hums, taking a moment to run his calloused fingers along the thin strings, dust blowing in the low lighting of the dining room. After a beat of silence, he starts strumming, a quiet melody flowing through the room, making a gentle lullaby that could put you to sleep.

   You can’t help but stare in awe as his thick fingers meticulously strum along the cords, each note more beautiful the longer he plays. He’s well experienced, probably played for years before the outbreak, and it makes a small smile curl against your mouth as you watch Joel lose himself to the song. 

   “Future Days” by Pearl Jam. It takes you seconds to recognize it. It’s a song your dad used to play you in his truck. A song that meant a lot to you because it reminded you of the good days. Days where there was no worrying about being killed or mauled by a clicker, only worrying about getting through the days that were filled with sunshine and laughter. Days that weren’t dark and ominous like today.

   But Joel? He seems to light up the room, even through his grumpy demeanor. He’s got a soft side. He’s got passion. And music was clearly a passion of his in a time before this. 

   You can’t describe it, but you love watching him. The slight pinch of his eyebrows, the crease of the deep wrinkles that map along his tanned forehead, and his eyes. Dark chocolate pits that seem to sparkle every once in a while. Like right now. They’re practically glowing and God, they look so beautiful. You wonder what it’s like to drown in those shades of brown. You might just float instead of sink. 

   “Future Days, yeah?” You let the words slip out, his eyes immediately shifting up to yours while his fingers still fluidly strum along the strings.

   His brows pinch together in speculation, his eyes flicking over you in deep assessment. Clearly surprised at the words that just came from your mouth. “You know Pearl Jam?”

   “Of course I do. They’re one of my favorites.”

   He lifts a brow quizzically and looks at you dumbfounded. “Didn’t take you to be the type to like rock music.”

   “Guess you don’t know enough about me to make that sort of judgment, huh?” you banter off, crossing your arms across your chest and giving him a snide smirk in return.

   “I reckon not…” He continues playing quietly, the soft melody floating through your ears like the rolling tides of the ocean, waves crashing through your chest. His deep brown eyes meet yours again and then he just stares, something forming in his glowing irises but yet still leery. He’s not sure about you, but he’s damn curious, that’s for sure. 

   But you’re not far off because you’re more than curious about him. You want to probe deep inside that locked up mind of his. Maybe take a key and pry it open so you can paint a pretty picture in there just so you can see what makes him tick. 

   After a beat of silence, except for the strumming of cords and the pelting of rain, Joel speaks again. “You ever play?”

   You shake your head and smile. “No, always wanted to, though. Never got the chance to before all hell broke loose in the world.”

   “Mmm. I see,” he hums, and then he goes silent again. His eyes still roam over you, maybe even trying to unlock a piece of your mind. That’s what it feels like when he stares at you like that. All deep and intense, like he just might swallow you whole one of these days.

   “You give lessons?” you ask quietly, hoping your question won’t send him pushing you out in the cold rain.

   “Depends on the day. Depends who’s askin.” That’s all you get from him. It’s neither a yes nor a no, but you have a feeling that tiny crack of a smile that’s blooming on his lips means it’s a yes. And you can’t help but feel all warm and tingly from the anticipation of those strong arms around you, guiding your fingers, lips brushing against your cheek, eliciting commands that you just have to obey. 

   Joel Miller is a menace on the streets of the QZ, but deep down he’s got a soft spot. And you think you just might find it. 

   Minutes go by, maybe even an hour. You don’t keep track. All you can focus on is the quiet strum of the guitar, his wandering brown eyes, his hidden smile that peeks out at just the right moments, the deft fingers that guide along the worn strings. You’re hypnotized by him, and you just can’t stop looking at the tall, broad man with pretty eyes. 

   It’s not until he stops playing and sets the guitar against the wall that you see the faint glow of the digital clock reflecting off the black stovetop. Your eyes grow wide, and it doesn’t take long for Joel to see what you’re staring at.

   “Shit. It’s after 7:45 p.m., past curfew,” he murmurs, pushing a hand roughly through his tousled curls like he fucked up big time.

   “Oh no. I completely lost track of time! I’m sorry, I should go.” You push yourself forcefully out of the wooden chair and rush toward the front door. Just as you’re trying to pry it open, Joel pushes hard against it and growls.

   “No!”

   “No?” you ask shocked, standing back to look into those focused dark eyes.

   He sighs and shakes his head. “Y’can’t be caught outside after curfew, remember? FEDRA would have your ass.”

   Taking a moment to compose yourself, you snake your arms across your chest and mewl. “Well, what am I supposed to do?”

   Joel flicks his eyes toward the leather couch and back at you, weighing his options carefully, and then he sighs. “Y’can stay here for the night.”

   Dropping your arms in disbelief, a soft awareness spreads over your surprised face. “Are you sure? I don’t want to cause you any trouble.”

   “‘M’sure. And don’t worry ‘bout it, trouble,” he smirks with the flash of his teeth. “Got a spot right over on that couch with your name written on it.”

   You chew your bottom lip and smile. “Guess thanks are in order then.”

   He laughs and stammers out, “Jus’ promise me to try to stay out of trouble, but I know that’s hard for you since your nickname is trouble. Ain’t that right?” A sly smirk spreads across his plush mouth, and an eyebrow ticks up slowly, like he’s calling you trouble all over again. You think it’s your new favorite word when it comes from his mouth.

   “Guess so,” you giggle, flipping your hair behind your shoulder.

   “Umm. I got a spare blanket and pillow y’can use. Let me go grab ‘em.” He leaves the room and leaves you waiting, slowly removing yourself from the entryway and making your way toward the tiny living room. The one with the sunken couch and white curtains that hang loosely around the glass window that leads toward the FEDRA infested streets. You’d rather not look out to see your prisoners that hold you captive in this city, so you divert your attention to the hanging portrait of a painted herd of wild horses that sits above the leather couch. It’s prettier than facing the outside world where nothing but turmoil and death lay. 

   “Here ya go. Hope this’ll do,” Joel says, handing you a fluffy white pillow and a soft beige blanket, warm enough to keep you cozy tonight.

   “Thanks, Joel. Really, I appreciate this more than you know.”

   “It’s really nothin’, darlin’. It’s the least I can do.”

   When your hand brushes against his rough skin, you freeze, gasping at the electric spark that zaps through your fingers. You think he feels it too because he jumps back and stares at the back of his hand, like he just got burned by your touch. 

   Gently laying down the blanket and pillow on the couch, you watch him carefully, mulling about what just happened. It was nothing but yet, it was everything. All it took was one touch, and he fucking set your entire skin on complete fire. 

   Breaking the thick tension, you help deter the awkward silence away. “How long have you been here in the QZ?”

   He looks back up hesitantly, and the flames in his eyes immediately die out. “Too damn long.”

   “How long?” you press.

   “Close to twenty years. Too fuckin’ long,” he scowls, something like anger contorting on the edges of his sculpted jawline. And you get a sense that this was never a home for him. It was just his own personal hell.

   “Oh. That is quite a long time… I can’t imagine being inside these walls that long,” you mumble, afraid to raise your voice beyond a whisper, not wanting to stir up a concoction of grief.

   Was that sadness beyond those deep brown eyes, golden flecks that reflect a hint of sorrow, tragedy, heartbreak? You’d like to know. Maybe one day you can scratch that surface, see what’s really under Joel Miller’s brick walls.

   “Exactly. I can’t imagine anyone bein’ here for even a year, but here we are. Jus’ some slaves to FEDRA. But I won’t let them boss me around. Hell, I boss them around most days,” he growls, a storm of violence in those pools of autumn darkness. “Fuckers can only make me do so much. One of these days I’m jus’ gonna snap.” A crack of thunder makes you nearly jump out of your skin, adding to Joel’s wrath that makes him fume and tick his jaw. He’s angry, as he should be. 

   “I see that. You really don’t take shit from anyone, do you?” You give him a small smile and surprisingly, he gives you one right back.

   “Maybe from Tess, but not anyone else if I can help it,” he chuckles, huffing out a long sigh.

   You shift your weight on the wood beneath your feet and drag your tongue along the roof of your mouth, preparing to ask something you probably shouldn’t. He’ll shut you down, maybe kick you out, have Tess knock some common sense into you. But you just can’t get the fascination and curiosity of what he does out of your head. Smuggling is dangerous, but wouldn’t you be in good hands with Joel? 

   Here goes nothing.

   “So, the smuggling. How’d you get in it?” you press gently.

   His eyebrows raise in response, and a quizzical expression bleeds down his face. “Why do you wanna know?”

   You shrug in response. “Because I’m curious.” 

   Keen eyes stare you down, and his jaw clenches at the words. “Well, you don’t jus’ pick that field. They place you there. If they think you’re good, strong, slick. If you can show ‘em you’re trustworthy enough, jus’ like a fuckin’ watchdog, then they’ll be breathin’ down your neck for you to smuggle for them.”

   “Sounds… interesting.”

   He chuckles, shaking his head in agitation. “Ain’t really interestin’ to be under watch of those lowlife scums they call soldiers. What’s interestin’ is gettin’ the fuck out of these gates. Bein’ out there in nature away from their hateful glares is what’s fuckin’ interestin’. You stay in these gates too long and you start to go a little insane.” He huffs, scuffing his weathered boot along the wooden floor in irritation, his eyes lit up like onyx flames.

   Clearly, he isn’t a fan of his job, but that doesn’t deter you from wanting to learn a thing or two from him. “Could you teach me?”

   His jaw goes slack, and his eyes widen at the question. “What kind of question is that? Didn’t you hear what I jus’ said?”

   “I heard you just fine. But I’m being serious, Joel! I want to learn!” you mewl, crossing your arms and jutting out your bottom lip like you’re pouting. You’re being ridiculous, but how else are you going to show him you really want this?

   “Nah, sweetheart. You’re too—”

   “I’m too what?” you spit, turning your head and pursing your lips tightly together.

   “You’re weak and you’re slow,” he boldly states, not even caring if he thinks that’ll hurt your feelings. He obviously doesn’t care.

   “Then teach me!” you stomp, throwing your arms down at your sides and balling your fists, just like a child who wants their way.

   “Teach you? Are you high?” he chortles, pressing his fingers against his temples in frustration.

   You take two steps forward and curl your fingers against the bottom of his denim button-up, desperate for a yes. But he pries them off and pushes your hand away. “Joel, please! I want to know how to defend myself, how to fight, how to survive. Show me how to do that.”

   He scoffs and shakes his head no. “You don’t know what you’re askin’, sweetheart.”

   “Yes, I do. Come on, please?” you beg, putting on the big puppy dog eyes, hoping that’ll be enough to persuade him.

   “I said no. It’s too dangerous,” he states with finality in his deep tone.

   “And this entire world isn’t?”

   Joel flinches and gives you a stern look. “Jus’ quit askin’.”

   You sigh loudly and groan. “Fine. If I find myself pinned against a wall by a soldier again because I couldn’t defend myself then I—” That seems to get his attention, and something changes in the light of his dark eyes. Something snaps, and he stands a little taller, his spine fully straight. 

   “Take out your knife,” he murmurs lowly, his husky voice almost coming off as a growl.

   “What?” Your eyes widen, and you’re shocked he’s saying yes in his own way.

   “Take. Out. Your. Knife.” He accentuates every syllable, snarling the words like he’s giving you an order. 

   “How do you know I still have the knife you gave me?” you question him, your tongue prodding at the inside of your cheek, eyes slightly narrowed in challenge. You shouldn’t challenge the Joel Miller, but it could be fun.

   “Take out the goddamn knife if you want to learn so badly. I know you have it. I can see it in the outline of your jeans.” He nods to the curve of the small knife in your front right pocket. Of course he’d notice that. He has the eyes of a panther. 

   “Oh, right,” you mutter, digging the balls of your feet into the floor, your fingers hovering over the pocket.

   “Well, we ain’t got all night, trouble. C’mon then.” He curls his fingers, demanding the knife, dark eyebrows furrowed together and his plush lips in a tight line.

   “What do you want me to do with it?” you ask, grabbing the end of the bronze pocket knife and pulling it free.

   “I want you to take it from me,” he states simply, like it’s as easy as writing your name in pencil.

   “Take it from you?” you scrunch your forehead together in question. That’d be too easy, wouldn’t it? 

   “That’s right. Take. It. C’mon now. Don’t be shy. Show me what you got,” he beckons, egging you on. Before you know what’s coming, he snatches it out of your curled hand, not even giving you a moment to flinch. 

   Shit, he’s fast. Just like lightning. 

   “Hey!” you shout, sweeping your arm out in front of you to try to steal it back. He steps back and wags the blade in your face, grinning a mile wide as he taunts you on.

   “Gonna have to try harder than that, trouble,” he teases, smirking devilishly your way as if this will make you snap.

   You shake your head and scoff, laughing under your breath. “You want trouble?”

   “Yeah, I really do,” he chuckles, tossing the knife in the air and snatching it back in a second. 

   “I’ll give you trouble, Miller,” you glare with narrowed eyes.

   His eyes darken with fire flecks glinting in his eyes, and he’s practically smoldering. He curls a thick finger his way and coaxes you forward. “Oh, I know. I’m counting on it,” he muses.

   And that does it. Those fucking heated brown eyes send you forward, nearly barreling into him, but he moves out of the way effortlessly, leaving you to run into the chipped counter. 

   “Nice try, sweetheart. You can be quicker than that though,” he jostles, tapping the edge of the bronze blade against his dark jeans.

   You huff and jump at him, curling your fingers around the end of his denim button-up just as he moves away. You lose your grip and tumble forward, almost tripping on the blue rug by the broken coffee table. When you get your feet underneath you again, you let out a frustrated growl. “Give it, Joel,” you demand.

   “Come. Get. It,” he bites out, flashing his teeth as a smug grin cakes his face. He’s having so much fun with this that it starts to get under your skin. One more wicked smirk and you bare your teeth and go lunging for him. 

   Just as you reach out and skim the blade, his body collides with yours, and then he pushes you against the peeling white wall, locking his arms tightly around you and caging you in, to the point where there’s nowhere to go. You’re stuck, trapped against his heavy weight, and you suddenly feel so vulnerable and breathless.

   “That’s not fair,” you choke out, your meek voice betraying you.

   “Not fair, huh?” he chuckles, slipping his hands closer to you, skimming the outer edges of your shoulders, the heat penetrating past the cotton of your layers as he slides down to the curve of your hips, pressing just enough to make heat rise like a tidal wave in your chest. 

   Oh, God. He’s so warm, and the way his broad chest feels against yours sends sparks shooting down your nerve endings. He’s so close that you can practically taste the sweat of his tanned skin. His lips probably taste like sunshine and sweet tea. And as you breathe him in, you swear you can almost feel him inside you, right where you need him most. 

   “You’re not playing fair,” you pout, mesmerized by the curl of his smirk, his mustache shadowing over his plush lips. 

   Whiskey. That’s it. That is what you’d taste if his lips decided to meet yours. And you want it, the rush of him kissing you. You need it desperately. You might just die if you can’t have just one taste. 

   He chuckles and twirls the edge of the blade around a loose strand of hair, making you gulp at the slow motions of the bronze weapon. “You think a soldier is gonna play fair with you? You think a raider is gonna go easy on ya? You think anyone is gonna let you off jus’ like that?”

   His dark eyes bore into yours, and there’s nothing playful about his gaze. Not this time because he’s trying to teach you this world isn’t kind, and you can’t always take the easy route out. “No…” you whisper, letting your eyes drop to the ground, right by his leather boots. 

   “No, they ain’t.” He tips the cool bronze end of the blade under your chin and pulls your gaze up to his, his eyes lighter and full of onyx shards that nearly have your heart in your throat. “Now try again.”

   You push him off you with a huff, banging your fists on his broad chest like that’ll do you any good. He barely flinches, only chuckles in amusement.

   “You think this is funny?” you scoff.

   “Maybe,” he laughs, tossing the knife back and forth while he stares at you with humor glinting in those dark eyes of his. 

   “Oh? What’s so funny, tough guy?” You reach out and swipe through the air, barely missing the handle of the knife. 

   Shit. 

   Another chuckle leaves his lips, and he just shakes his head in enjoyment. “You,” he answers plainly with a smile.

   “Me?!” you scream, trying your best not to lose control.

   “Yes, you. Think you’re so tough, but you’re jus’ a feisty little pussycat, ain’t ya?” he teases, throwing the knife out of reach while you work to slip your fingers around it, but it’s too far away.

   “I’m not a pussycat,” you seethe, your lips pursed in anger at the crude name.

   “Sure act like one. All teeth and paws, but you can’t even get a lick of a mark on me. Can you, pussycat?” The flicker of amber crosses his irises as he smirks at you with trouble written all over the creases around his eyes. He wants to get under your skin because he thinks this is fun. But all it’s doing is making you mad as hell. 

   “I’m not a cat,” you spit with venom on your tongue. “I can take you,” you challenge.

   A smirk curls over his mouth and his eyes lace with darkness. “Show me what you got then, trouble. Show me those sharp claws you got. Come. Get. Me. Pussycat.” 

   The taunting words out of his mouth start a fire in you, and then you snap from irritation. You go full force on him, punching your arms and clawing right and left, but he averts from your advances each time. 

   “Y’can do better than that, pussycat. Don’t fuckin’ hold back when I know that feral cat is deep inside you,” he taunts, his strong body zipping around the little space between the dining room and living room.

   “Give it,” you growl, eyes slitting with anger fuming from your body. 

   “Then take it,” he barks.

   You lash out again, Joel ducking and reflecting off each movement you give him. It’s like he knows exactly what move you’ll make next, like he knows everything before you can even think. And it’s frustrating when you know you have no chance at getting your knife back, unless he hands it over, which he won’t. Joel Miller doesn’t give up but neither do you. 

   Thunder cracks against the gloomy sky. And when he turns his head to look out the foggy window, you see your opening right there. Your body moves, your leg kicking out, trying to make him topple to the ground, but you’re too slow. His head whips around and instead of him falling, it’s you. 

   His foot catches the inside of your ankle, and he smiles as victory flashes across those dark brown eyes. You tumble down, your body free falling for only a second until you’re met with the harsh kitchen table colliding against your back. You grunt, pain radiating through every bone in your body like you just got knocked off a horse. 

   Joel’s broad body crawls on top of you, his hands snaking their way around your wrists and pinning them high above your head, to where you can’t move. The bronze knife falls to the table with a loud clatter, but you can’t wiggle free to get it. You’re completely and utterly stuck because Joel’s entire weight is pressed firmly against yours.

   Your eyes widen into large domes, your mouth suddenly as dry as a desert because this beast of a man is hovering over you, and it shouldn’t be erotic at all, but it’s hot as hell. You’re equally terrified and turned on at the same time. 

   “Like I said, darlin’. Slow and weak. Gonna have to work on that, won’t we? Pussycat.” A devilish smirk curls against his lips, and his eyes are lit with fire. The kind that’s dangerous and tempting, that’ll maybe burn you alive.

   You try your best to kick him where it’ll hurt, but he pins your leg down with his knee, glueing you in place to his large body. “I’m not a cat,” you snarl, bucking your hips up, but you’re only met with the leather of his belt and something that feels a lot like his cock hardening. You gulp at the realization and cower back down.

   “Maybe not. But you could be. All cute and feisty tryin’ to fight. Shit, might jus’ be a new nickname for you. But I think trouble fits you better,” he smirks proudly at the name he branded just for you.

   “You think I’m… cute?”

   His jaw slackens and the smug smirk is gone in a flash. Maybe he didn’t realize what he was doing, but he was definitely flirting with you. And maybe you invited that, kept it going, but the way he’s looking at you all soft and lost, just like a homesick puppy, is almost swoon-worthy.

   “No. I uhhh… that’s not what I was tryin’ to say,” he stutters, licking his bottom lip slowly as his eyes swirl with hesitation.

   “But you just said…”

   “Enough. I was jus’ tryin’ to teach you a lesson. That’s all.”

   “I see…” A hint of a smile meets your lips because a red blush stains his cheeks at the question. He’s flustered, just like you are.

   His tight grip doesn’t let up on your wrists, his broad body still laying on top of yours, hovering like a buzzing bee, his heart racing a mile an hour. You know because his fast breaths are mixing with yours as thick tension fills the air like the fog clouding the outside of the living room window.

   His eyes flick down to your lips, his golden flecked irises swirling with something like desire. Maybe he wants to kiss you. You think you’d let him because the thought of having his plush lips melded to yours makes butterflies flit through your stomach and other places you don’t want to think about. 

   He shifts his eyes back to yours, and your body hums with need. Those syrupy brown eyes could bring you down to your knees. God, they’re so beautiful under the dim light of the dining room, making them look like molten lava and painted sunsets on the beach. You could just drown in them if he’d let you. 

   He’s struggling, his body tight and his breath ragged, fighting something he doesn’t understand. You almost think he’ll kiss you by the way his eyes flick back and forth undecidedly. Joel Miller may not be weak, but he’s got something in that thick head of his that’s weak for you. 

   “Joel?” you whisper, watching the way his eyes widen when they stare waveringly at your mouth.

   His jaw clenches into a tight fist and then he’s climbing off you, freeing your wrists from their restraints, leaving you feeling empty and breathless with a need that thirsts to be quenched. 

   “I uhhh, got a shower. Y’can use it if you want,” he murmurs quickly, like he’s in a hurry to get away from the heat of the room because it’s stifling in this moment. And the way he was looking at you just a few seconds ago? It was like he wanted you. And maybe he does. Maybe, just maybe…

   “Ummm, yeah. Thanks,” you mumble, collecting your bearings as you smooth your shirt out, the inside of your thighs burning with desire. Joel lit a spark in you, and it set your core ablaze like fire.

   “Towels are in the first cabinet on the left. Jus’ help yourself.” He threads his fingers through his disheveled hair, nervously pulling at the strands like he’s in pain, like he’s fighting something.

   “Joel?” you ask again, calling his name like it’s the only name you know.

   “Yeah?” His voice is deep, clipped, like he wants to run far far away from you.

   “So. Does this mean you’ll teach me?” 

   His eyes linger on you for just a second too long, and the tick in his jaw tightens as he thinks it through. Eventually, he nods with a tight-lipped smile. “Consider that your first lesson. We’ll go again tomorrow.”

   “Really?” A large smile covers your face, and your eyes light up with glee.

   “Mhm. Don’t make me regret it. Goodnight, trouble.” He disappears through the thresholds of his room, leaving you standing in the middle of the hall, waiting for what? Something, but his door stays shut tight.

   You sigh and make your way into the bathroom, flipping on the lights. It’s a simple layout. Cracked tiles in the shower, a tan shower curtain, a small ceramic sink with a fading countertop, stained white walls with small water leak marks on top of the ceiling, a rugged blue mat in front of the tub. Slightly better than your rundown bathroom. 

   After finding a folded white towel in the cabinet and turning the faucet of the shower, you strip your worn clothes and step in, letting the grime and sweat wash down the drain in a swirl of sudsy soap. It feels weird being in Joel’s shower, but you’re grateful anyways. He could’ve said no, could’ve kicked you out, but he didn’t. He did the unspeakable. 

   He let you stay. 

   After relaxing for several minutes under the warm spray of the shower head, you cut the water and dry off, squeezing all the leftover water droplets from your clean hair, brushing your fingers through the tangled mess. 

   When you take a step out of the shower and onto the now damp rug, you freeze. There, right on the edge of the counter, is a folded up navy colored t-shirt that wasn’t there before your shower. Your eyebrows pinch together, questions rolling through your wide eyes. You didn’t hear him open the door, not when you were under the noisy shower head. 

   As you pick it up, you see it’s long enough to fall past your knees, and it’s soft and smells like Joel. A hint of pinewood and smoke lathering in the cotton of the material. You inhale his scent, breathing deeply in before you slip it over your head, the cool cotton molding to your body like a weighted blanket. All warm and cozy and his. 

   But why did he leave this for you? He could’ve left you to throw on your sweat-drenched clothes from earlier, could’ve given you some old ratty thing. But he didn’t. 

   Shaking your head in disbelief, you let the door click open with the twist of the doorknob and step out, your eyes falling on his closed door like you could walk right through it, breaking every barrier down he had built against him. But instead, you decide to retreat to the couch and snuggle into the thick blanket, the worn leather sticking to your clean skin, your head hitting the pillow in just the right spot.

   Visions of Joel flood through your mind the moment you close your eyes, remembering the intense knife lesson, his broad body hovering over yours, his dark eyes staring directly into your soul, tempting you to mold your lips to his. He wanted to kiss you, at least you think. And maybe you should’ve helped him take that leap, but you didn’t. And that’s your downfall you’ll always regret. 

   Sighing deep against the fluffy pillow, you toss and turn until you fall asleep. The soft pitter patter of the rain lulling you into a deep sleep after a brutal day in the heat. The last thing you see before you slip into darkness is the color of mahogany eyes haunting your mind.

   Joel tosses and turns, letting the slick sheets wrap around his legs, groaning against the mixed feelings that swirl around his conflicted mind. You. You’re the reason he can’t sleep or think straight. All he sees are the flashes of your pretty eyes, eyelashes batting against the deep blush that painted your cheeks crimson when he was hovering over you on the kitchen table, your wrists constricted around his fingers, just a breath away from his mouth meeting your glossy lips.

   He groans and lets the palms of his hands dig into the socket of his eyes, muttering curses under his breath. He doesn’t get feelings, doesn’t get wrapped around pretty girls’ fingers, but you have him wrapped tight like a noose around his neck, one step away from tipping over the edge to his death. 

   He can’t help himself, can’t fight off the way he wants you so fucking badly that he can hardly stand it. He shouldn’t want you, but here he is like a whiny dog begging for attention. He wants you to want him like he wants you. And maybe you already do. He doesn’t fucking know anymore.

   He should’ve never saved you from Seth, but he’d never forgive himself if he let Seth lay one more finger on you. And then he invited you inside to shield you from the rain, offered to let you stay, kept you past curfew when he knew this would happen. He should’ve sent you off to Tess’s apartment, but he didn’t. He didn’t do one goddamn thing that he should’ve. 

   And now you’re trapped like a fly under his watch. Because now… he’s never going to let another man touch you. Not under his radar. Not ever. Unless it’s him…

   It’s only a few steps from his bedroom to the couch, would only take a second to brush his palm down your cheek, let his mouth envelop yours, only a breath away from wrapping you so tightly around his tired body that you’ll never be able to let go.

   He’s being selfish, but he can’t help it. He fucking wants you, but only time will tell if he’ll fully give in to what he truly needs.

   You…

   A loud clap of thunder stirs you from your deep sleep, nearly sending you tumbling off the edge of the sunken leather couch. Another big boom explodes across the dark night sky and has you tossing the blanket aside. Your stiff body shakes from the thrashing storm as you push yourself off the faded couch, rubbing the sleep from your tired eyes. 

   You pull back the torn curtain and fix your eyes on the blackness of the storm, large lightning strikes splitting across the sky, reflecting off the foggy glass. Your slow breaths fill the room, your finger sliding down the windowpane, condensation dripping down the clear glass. You never were a huge fan of thunderstorms, unless they were calm. Slow, gentle rain storms were always something you loved but this? Well, it certainly had you on edge. 

   You spend the next few minutes pacing across the wooden floors, taking caution not to be too loud, not wanting to wake Joel up. You can’t sleep, can’t process that you’re in his apartment, in his shirt. 

   God, you really hope he doesn’t walk through that closed door because the only thing you’re wearing right now is his shirt and your lacy panties. Even though the length of the shirt covers your thighs, you still feel completely vulnerable and bare. 

   Chewing the edges of your long nails, you pace back and forth nervously against the wooden floorboards, careful not to step on a creaky spot. The thunder claps through the sky, startling you once again. You jump back with a jolt and hit the side of the coffee table, catching yourself from falling face down to the floor. But before that happens, you step on a particularly noisy wooden plank and an ear-splitting groan carries through the entirety of the room, alarming anyone who’s mere feet away of your mistake. 

   Shit.

   And in less than ten seconds, Joel’s door pops open with a squeak and out slips Joel. Your eyes widen at the picturesque view that stands in front of you. You gulp and step back, taking in the broadness of his entire body, like it was being displayed in a fucking art gallery. 

   His tousled curls are disheveled and pushed back, making his deep brown eyes somehow brighter, like the midnight moon. A short sleeved white t-shirt clings to his bulky arms, the large veins cascading and spidering down the entirety of his tanned arms. His grey sweatpants hang low on his hips, one hand shoved deep inside his pocket, the other running smoothly through his greying locks. 

   You’d be lying to yourself if you said you felt nothing for him because right now, your heart is thundering loudly in your chest just by standing in his presence, wearing his t-shirt. And suddenly, you feel exposed and completely naked. 

   “Thought I heard something in here. You alright?” he asks carefully, eyes locking like a magnet with yours.

   You gulp and push a lock of hair behind your ear nervously. “I’m fine. Just the storm woke me up, and I couldn’t go back to sleep. I’m sorry if I woke you, I didn’t mean to,” you press, fingers twisting nervously in the fabric of his shirt that clings like static to your clammy skin. 

   He holds out a palm to silence you, but he only shakes his head and laughs quietly. The sound reverberates down your body like music. “S’alright, darlin’. Didn’t wake me up. Wasn’t having much luck sleepin’ anyways.”

   “Oh, I see.” Your hands clamp together behind your back in a nervous fit of jitters, your mouth suddenly as dry as a desert. 

   Why the fuck are you so nervous? He’s just a guy, but then again he’s not. He’s Joel Miller, and there’s nothing remotely average about him. 

   “The couch comfortable enough? I know it ain’t much, but it’s the best I got,” he drawls, flexing his bicep each time he runs his thick fingers through his soft curls, making you nearly pant at the sight of the ripped muscles pulling at the edges of his t-shirt. 

   “It’s perfect, Joel. Seriously, you didn’t have to let me stay.”

   He chuckles and sighs slowly. “Like I said, it’s no trouble.”

   “Thank you.”

   Shaking his head slowly, he replies, “Gotta stop thanking me, sweetheart.”

   “And for letting me shower and borrow your shirt. You really didn’t have to.” Your fingers pick at the frayed edges of the t-shirt, your eyes widening when you see his dark eyes roam the expanse of your body, flicking his gaze up and down your legs at an extremely slow pace, your cheeks burning with redness seeping in. 

   You don’t know why, but his smoldering stare sets your core completely on fire. 

   “Again, don’t mention it. And uhhh… it looks better on you.” You nearly choke on the words that just slipped free from his lips, like it was all casual and not a compliment. He basically just told you how good you look in his clothes. And that in itself makes your insides smother with need. 

   “You didn’t have to, you know,” you laugh, eyes peeling to the floor, a nervous flutter kicking inside your chest. 

   “But I really did…”

   Your eyes snap back up to his, tension forming like the thick fog that covers the windows. And suddenly, the room feels much hotter than it should be. Almost like a suffocating sauna.

   He takes a step forward, the floorboards creaking beneath him, and then he takes another, one step closer to you. His eyes flick down your legs once more, his golden brown irises glistening with something like mischief and fire igniting with every glimpse of your skin. 

   The scent of pine cones and autumn permeate throughout the still air, igniting your heightened senses, kicking them into overdrive the closer he gets to you. His smoldering eyes rake over your body, a smug smile tugging at his plush lips, and there’s trouble written all over that smug look. The kind of trouble you wouldn’t mind falling into. 

   Thunder crashes outside, making you jump at the sudden explosion of the raging storm, putting you on edge even more than when Joel walked into the room.

    “You scared of storms?” he asks quietly, eyeing you closely, eyes roaming down your bare legs in slow motion, lurching your heart in your throat.

   “No,” you barely mouth, gulping as you watch his hand rake down his patchy beard slowly, his eyes devouring your skin. Fire burns hot in your core the longer you watch him. Maybe he’ll pounce, put the fire out himself or make it burn ten times hotter.

   “You sure ‘bout that?” He smirks, lighting the fire into a full on inferno. You’re burning.

   Another step closer, thunder vibrating in the dark sky behind you, his breath fanning warmly across your face, conjuring feelings that shouldn’t even be blooming in the first place.

   “I said I’m not scared,” you mutter courageously, holding your breath, scared of what you might smell if he takes one step closer.

   “Then why are ya shakin’?” He takes two more slow steps toward you, prowling like a starving wolf, ready to sink his sharp teeth into the side of your neck. 

   “I’m not.” But that’s a damn lie. You might as well be shaking the entire floor with the way you’re shuddering violently in place.

   Another step and then he’s toe to toe with you, the smell of mahogany and pine trees invading your body, making you want to just melt into the fragrance of his scent. 

   He smells like honeydew and a warm summer’s day. And you’re fucking addicted.

   “You are. Fuckin’ tremblin’, sweetheart.” You audibly gasp when he brushes a lock of hair behind your ear, lingering his fingers slowly down your jawline, pulling out need and yearning like you’re dying for just a drop of his taste, his tongue.

   “I’m not scared of the storm…” you answer calmly, your voice giving away with how badly you need him. 

   God, you want him. Almost as badly as you want to be out of the QZ.

   “Then what? You afraid of me?” He cups your chin and lifts your eyes up to his, pulling out a sound that almost sounds like a moan. He chuckles at that. You’re so embarrassed.

   “No…” you murmur, your voice deceiving you once again. 

   “Well, ya should be,” he smiles, his honey eyes turning into deep black pits, making you want to drown in his dark pools of lust. 

   “Why’s that?” you whisper, voice cracking when his other hand pulls you by the waist, your body flush with his broad chest.

   “‘Cause you scare the hell out of me,” he states with a sharpness to his deep timbre. 

   “But I didn’t do anything…” you mewl, too scared to back up, not wanting to break the thick tension that permeates like fire around the room.

   Another crack of thunder makes you jump, but he only pulls you tighter, his warmth coursing through your entire body. 

   “‘Course you did. Comin’ around here with those big, beautiful eyes. Tryin’ to sweeten up my life. Causin’ a bunch of ruckus and trouble. Who gave you the right, huh?” he asks accusingly; his voice soft but ravenous.  

   Your eyes widen at the meaning of his words. He called you beautiful. “Joel… I’m not trying to...”

   “Ya are. And I won’t stand for it. Won’t stand a goddamn second of it. Now c’mere and fix the mess you started.” 

   Before you can say anything, he cups the back of your neck and pulls your mouth to his. He crashes his lips desperately against yours, knocking the breath clear out of your lungs. It’s not soft or slow, it’s reckless and electrifying as you match his energy and kiss him in the same starving-like way. 

   You part your lips and let him slot in. His tongue dances wildly with yours, a sultry tango that spins out of control. You wrap your arms tightly around the back of his neck and he picks you up and wraps your legs around his hips, pinning you against the crumbling walls while you moan desperately into his mouth. 

   He takes his lips off yours for just a breath, enough to pant out a series of serenaded words. “Christ, you taste better than a cold glass of whiskey. Might have to brand you as my new favorite flavor, trouble.” He clashes his mouth back on yours, moans bleeding into each other like the whiskey that burns through his bloodstream.

   “Joel, need—” you whine between thunderous kisses.

   “Know what you need, sweetheart. Don’t worry. Gonna take real good care of ya, babygirl.” You moan at the name babygirl and let him whisk you away to his bedroom. 

   The door crashes against the wall as he barrels through the room, throwing you on his large bed, your fingers brushing against the cool sheets. He hovers over your body, eyes marinated in complete darkness, dying to sink his teeth in your skin.

   “You look mighty pretty in my t-shirt, sweetheart. But you’re gonna look even better when you’re completely naked in my bed.” You pant as he rips the t-shirt over your head, tossing it on the floor in a heap, leaving you in nothing but your lacy panties that are completely ruined. 

   “Jesus Christ,” he groans, taking his large hand and slowly dragging his fingertips down your body, slowly making his way between your breasts, down to the waistband of your panties. “Fuckin’ beautiful.” 

   You buck your hips up to try to get friction, and he just chuckles as he leans over and hovers his large body over yours, slipping his white t-shirt off until his hairy, bare chest is flush with your skin, igniting your nerve endings like the lightning that strikes the dark sky outside. 

   His mouth suctions to your collarbone, sliding up to ravish your neck, sucking and biting till you pant his name out, his fingertips trailing over your core. You suck in a breath when he takes his thumb and slides it between your clothed folds, rubbing light circles over your clit. 

   “J—Joel,” you gasp, a fresh wave of slick covering the lace with the friction he’s giving you.

   “S’that right, darlin’? Haven’t even gotten these off you, and you’re already fuckin’ drippin’ for me,” he smirks, teasing his fingers beneath your waistband, making you practically beg with your wide eyes and open mouth. 

   “T—take them off, please,” you whine, thrashing beneath his hold, begging for more. You want more, need more. 

   “That what you want?” he smirks, lust-filled eyes black as midnight, feasting those deep pits right on you, threatening to swallow you whole.

   “Y—yes,” you choke out, gulping when he brushes over your clit again, eliciting more slick in your lace. 

   He smirks devilishly up at you while he drops to his knees on the rickety floor, pulling you to the edge of the bed. You gasp when he takes his time pulling your panties down, savoring your naked body under the moonlight, licking his lips when he sees you bare and writhing for him, your slick reflecting in his glassy irises. 

   “Goddamn it. You’re so wet for me, sweetheart. C’mere.” He gives you no time to comment back until his large tongue is flat against your slick core, slowly licking a thick strip up the entirety of you. 

   “Ohhh,” you moan while he meticulously circles your puffy bundle of nerves, eyes blown wide at the mere bliss he’s giving you. 

   “Taste so fuckin’ good. Like sweet, sticky honey. Fuck.” He growls as he slips two thick fingers inside your dripping hole, caking his fingers in slick while he makes out with your puffy clit.

   You thread your fingers through his tousled curls, hear him groan as you rake your fingernails against the crown of his head. And when he hits that spot, you arch your back as he repeatedly curls his fingers against the spongy, sweet spot inside that you can never reach yourself. Your eyes roll back into your head, your body humming with electricity. And soon you’re every single lightning strike that flashes in the cold, rainy night. He’s the thunder that crashes through your veins, bringing you to life with every flick of his tongue and motion of his experienced fingers. 

   You’re right on the edge of coming undone, your hips writhing beneath him, slick covering his thick beard. The sight makes you want to spill right there just by looking at the glistening slick sticking to his beard, his mustache, his lips. And God, you fucking love the sight of him covered in you. 

   “Joel, I’m gonna—”

   “C’mon, baby. Come for me. Cover me, spill for me. Wanna taste jus’ what I do to you,” he growls, releasing his fingers and filling you with his tongue instead. He tongue fucks you fast and hard, making you snap as the feeling takes you over the edge.

   “Joellll—” you cry out, feeling the white-hot heat slide down your body, releasing a flood of arousal and slick against his mouth, covering him in your orgasm. He slowly laps it up like it’s the breath of life, consuming all of you until there’s nothing left between your thighs except his thick fingers and warm tongue. And then you’re nothing more than the glistening raindrops that pelt the side of the bedroom window softly. 

   “That’s my good girl,” he praises, crawling over you, crowding his sweat-covered body with your own, slowly lifting your legs over his shoulders. You have no argument, can barely speak, but you need him like you need air to breathe. 

   “Joel—need you. Need you to…” He stops you right there, smirking when he starts to pull his grey sweatpants lower. Dark coarse hairs appear, and you choke on a gasp when you feel just how hard and big he is against your thigh. 

   “Shh. Save your breath, trouble. Gonna need it for what I’m about to do to you next.” He smirks like the handsome devil he is, his pupils blown as he stares at you like his next meal. 

   His grey sweatpants and black boxers fall to the floor, and your mouth drops open as his thick, hard cock springs free against his soft tummy. He’s massive. Deep veins twist around the underside of his cock, his tip angry, red, and leaking precum. He’s so fucking beautiful from his glowing dark eyes, to his disheveled hair, to his broad body, and to his giant cock. 

   He’s all just so fucking perfect, and you want him to be yours. 

   “You gonna keep starin’ with your mouth wide open, sweetheart?” he teases, taking his tip and smothering it over your folds, collecting more slick as you groan beneath his touch.

   “Maybe,” you giggle, grinding your pussy against his tip, begging him to take you. 

   “You want this, sweetheart? Want me?” he asks softly, staring down at you with vibrant chocolate eyes, golden flecks glittering bright under the moonlight from the window. 

   “Yes, want you, Joel. Please, take me. I’m yours.”

   He smiles  and then he crashes his lips down on yours, smothering you in him. He pushes inside you slowly, stretching you out like you’ve never been stretched, moaning into his open mouth as he starts to rock back and forth, thrusting as deep as he can go inside you until you feel him bottom out.

   Pretty soon Joel’s matching your moans, an exchange of pleasure coursing through your bloodstreams. He feels like heaven each time he claims you with his cock, rutting deeper and deeper until you can feel him everywhere inside you. It’s a euphoric bliss, thunder crashing outside the window, lightning tearing through your veins.

   Joel Joel Joel. He’s all you feel, all you see, all you hear. He’s everything all at once. The missing piece you’ve desperately been searching for your entire life.

   “You feel so perfect, sweetheart. Takin’ me so well. Want you to come again. Come for me, baby,” he coos, teeth clenching with every deep thrust he gives you.

   “Ohh,” you moan when he takes the pad of his thumb and starts circling your puffy clit, putting just the right amount of pressure where you feel it the most. 

   “Come on my cock, babygirl. Let me feel you. Fuck. Squeezin’ me so tight,” he grits out, your walls clenching tight around his thick length. You scream out his name as you come undone around him, your release drenching his cock as you squeeze him. 

   “Atta fuckin’ girl,” he praises, his dark eyebrows threading together as he concentrates to hold on. “Where do you want me, baby? Not gonna last much—longer,” he seethes, teeth clenched from his own building release.

   “Inside me,” you whine out, panting.

   He speeds up his thrusts faster and faster, and then he spills his warm seed inside you, both of your moans crescendoing together like a symphony of rolling thunder. He takes his time slipping out of you, dragging his release between your thighs. He grabs a towel from the bathroom and cleans you up, then pulls you toward the head of the bed until both of you are collapsed, panting breaths and glossy eyes staring back at one another.

   You both just lay there for minutes, bolts of lightning lighting up his beautiful, sweat-covered skin, igniting fire in his onyx eyes. He almost looks ethereal, so flawless that no one could touch him. But you touched him, and he lit you up like a thousand galaxies colliding straight into your heart. 

   Another moment passes and then he’s softly tracing the pads of his calloused fingertips across your cheek, mapping lines that connect right back to him. 

   “You’re so beautiful,” he whispers out, brushing a loose strand behind your ear as softly as the rain that patters lightly against the window. 

   “You think so?” you ask quietly, eyes wide and mouth dropped open the moment the word beautiful slipped off his tongue.

   He takes the pad of his thumb and runs it along your bottom lip, gently humming in response. “Yes, sweetheart. So beautiful,” he repeats, the words sounding like melodic music to your ears.

   “Joel, I—like you,” you say bravely, your fingers tracing the coarse hair on his broad chest.

   “And I like you. A lot,” he smiles, eyes melting into a warm, syrupy color. One you want to drown in.

   “Enough to be mine?” you whisper out meekly, afraid of what he’ll say.

   “Sweetheart… I’ve wanted you from the moment I set eyes on you. Wanted you the minute you stepped foot into my apartment that first time. Wanted you the second those beautiful eyes of yours tore open my soul.” His soft brown eyes are tearing your walls down, and you’re stunned in awe.

   “You… want me?” you breathe out, breathless.

   “Oh, sweetheart,” he chuckles, tracing heart shapes on your skin. “There’s not a second I don’t want you. You’re mine. Now c’mere.” He pulls you to him, his lips colliding with yours, and then you slip into the softness of him, tangling your body with his until you’re one.

   When the kiss ends, he keeps you against his warm chest, his hand running lazily through your hair, his lips brushing against your forehead. You get lost in his warmth, in his musk, in his woodsy scent that you revel in. He’s everywhere, surrounding you, melding into your soul. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. 

   You’re falling hard, fast, but he’ll catch you. Every brush against your skin just solidifies that, his lips making it official. You’re mine. His deep timbre lingers in your mind, and then you’re falling into a deep sleep in his arms while the rain soothes you into bliss.

[odetojupiter]

i see you saying that it’s heartbreaking that wymack set up the foxes to help people with trauma but couldn’t help his own son and i raise you: wymack saved kevin before kevin left the nest, without even knowing. kevin never would have left the nest if he didn’t have somewhere to go, and wymack - with the media attention he garnered with the foxes - became such a trustworthy figure in kevin’s mind that he didn’t doubt for a second that wymack would take him in and keep him as safe as he could. wymack did help kevin, before they had even met each other, by being such a strong beacon of hope that kevin was drawn to him despite the fact that he was raised and abused in a cult and probably found trusting anyone difficult, let alone someone he hadn’t met.

something else to consider: the foxes are still a newish team (if i remember correctly seth’s year is their first year, dan is their second, meaning neil is their fifth), and jean tells neil that kevin only found out wymack was his dad a few years ago when neil is in the nest. this means that kevin will have been aware of who wymack was - outside of wymack having played the sport prior to coaching - and would have seen the type of person he was before he knew they were related. he’d have witnessed from after wymack fighting tooth and nail to support his foxes despite all the mess, the tragedies, would have seen him staying firm in his belief in second chances BEFORE he found out wymack was his dad.

think - kevin saying to jean imagine having that. jean would say it’s a publicity stunt, it’s not real, those types of people don’t exist and kevin would agree and say they’re a shit team anyway, but something about wymack always rang true to him. maybe after that conversation he didn’t bring it up - other than to say i think my mother would’ve liked dan wilds when it’s announced she’s the new captain. but he still sees wymack’s actions in his periphery, and it’s enough to build up a picture of him as someone who is real. and then he finds out it’s his dad

imagine how that would have been for kevin - going from living in a cult, cut off from any family he may have had after kayleigh’s death to suddenly being told he has a dad, and that dad is the type of person who would have risked himself if he knew what was happening to kevin.

[hatosaur]

it's pretty implied that ellie never came out to joel in the proper sense. she lets him assume that she's into men, gives him the false satisfaction of "seeing" her "crush" on jesse, does not correct him. she's fairly confident in being gay in public for others to see and having others close to her know; so why not correct him? why dodge the topic?

was it out of fear? could it be that she never broached the topic despite being close to him in the early years because of the possibility of his reaction being negative? that she was afraid that out of all things that could force them apart (further apart after they split), him reacting badly to her being gay would be the worst?

what about at the dance? would she have been as wound up as she was if the moment hadn't been an encounter with a vicious homophobe? maybe she would've still snapped without this context, but why is she immediately on the defensive against joel after he sticks up for her?

what about the porch scene? why did she refute his question of dina being her girlfriend so insecurely, looking away, nervously and quietly stumbling over words? why isn't she mean about it? why doesn't she get defensive at the question? why did she lash out again when he expressed acceptance?

i think these scenes revolving around her queerness indicate it as such; that ellie never told joel for fear of a response, that she lets him think what he wants because that's the easiest way for it to be. then, when she's ready to face off against a homophobe, because that's the way things are, that's what she can expect, and joel defends her, she lashes out.

it's such a clear juxtaposition of support and hatred between joel and seth, and being faced with joel's acceptance is too much, makes her turn to the anger she'd been holding onto and reinforce what she thinks is true -- that she doesn't need him. and in the fallout, as her regret dawns on her, so too does the realization; he was protecting her, like always, without hesitation, over this thing she was always afraid he wouldn't accept her for.

in the porch scene, joel chooses his words wisely, and asks if dina is her girlfriend -- not "so you're gay?" or "why did you never tell me?" or "how long has this been a thing?" -- with such a casuality that it seems to throw her off. it's like ellie can hardly get the words out. she refutes the idea, fumbles for each following part of her response, is tense. she wasn't prepared for the question.

and when he finally asserts his support for her, in as explicit terms as he can, you can see ellie become emotional, touched for a moment but overcome, before she launches into the defensive again, exactly like at the dance scene -- meeting his kindness with hostility as a way to cope with her emotions.

and then, in response to her basically saying her life doesn't matter, he affirms that it does.

so he's now affirmed two things that ellie has doubted: that he accepts her being a lesbian, and that her life matters. a conflation of the two, in ellie's mind, may have come after; and after that, her olive branch.

and yeah, him affirming these things for her is fully in the context of his overwhelming parental love for her and her complex feelings about being the cure, but within a queer subtext, it means more. it's such a familiar thing to slink around loved ones and hide being gay/queer for fear of any type of response, and lying by omission in conversation just to keep that state of peace, of normalcy. ellie, with all her brutishness and bravery, falls into it like anyone else, because even while mad at him, she valued that response from him.

a lot of people seem to think that the approach to ellie's queerness is nonchalant, that it's just some unrelated thing about her, but i think that it holds more weight in the narrative that what is explicitly spelled out. it's subtle but it was a deliberate choice to place her queerness at the center of the confrontation. i think that's why ellie's relationship with dina took center stage in the story, and why so much time is devoted to just them -- because her being queer matters to her character, but in a way that perhaps only a queer person can see, analyze, and appreciate (without being blatant enough to anger certain other fans).

[trgldyte]

Wait so you’re telling me Seth was the fourth of seven siblings and had an older brother named Jeremy who was the second oldest child. And Jeremy has—3 siblings (why did Cat hesitate before saying the number??) and one of them is an older brother. Something happened at the fall banquet during his freshman year.

I know it’s a stretch—but what if Jeremy is Seth’s older brother? We know Seth died, which would reduce the seven children to six, and leave Jeremy with 5 siblings. So maybe something happened in Jeremy’s freshman year that resulted in the death of two of his siblings? That could certainly tear a family apart. And what if Jeremy’s family blames him for it? What if it actually was his fault? What if it was his fault in the sense that something he did contributed but in a way that it makes no sense to actually lay the blame on him?

If he is Seth’s brother, that indicates he raised his siblings from the age of 12. There bio dad disappeared at some point. Also why did their mom disappear so often, forcing him to take on that responsibility? And further, how did he get from Arizona and raising his siblings to living in Cali with a family of politicians? Did his mom get married? Did she leave so often bc she was having an affair w some guy? And then they got married and moved the family or something?

A step-dad situation could also explain his dislike for being referred to by his last name, esp is that step dad sucks somehow.

I have so many questions man. The desire to know Jeremy’s history is killing me slowly.

This is a theory that may or may not be baseless and I might not be making any sense here. But do you see my vision? Do you see it?

I’m going crazy.

[p1utofairy]

PAC: “i get so weak in the knees, i can hardly speak. i lose all control and something takes over me…” 💌⏳🦢🍸

• how does your crush currently feel about you?

disclaimer ✩: 18+ mature themes. here's something to kick off fall 🍂 take what resonates, leave what doesn’t. enjoy!

pile 1 📩 —

heyyy pile 1! let's jump right into your reading 🤗 i'm already hearing that you think about your crush A LOT like you can't get them off your mind even if you tried and they feel the exact same way. you two mirror each other so if you feel intensely about them, they're also feeling intensely about you even if they don't convey that outwardly (i.e. their facial expressions/body language) i feel like they’re not used to having a huge crush on someone, it usually just kinda…happens for them??? like they don't usually have to put a lot of work in to make someone fall for them (bc i'm visually seeing that they're pretty damn attractive) but that's not gonna cut it with you — they just can't get by on their looks. you're big on taking your time to get to know someone and building up that level of trust and respect. you carry yourself very well pile 1 and that's really what made them do a double take when they first saw you. you're 1 of 1 — they've never seen anyone like you before. i'm hearing that some of you may look exotic or people tell you that you resemble a specific celebrity a lot? idk but just know you get the blood rushing through their veins lol they can't help but feel excited when they're around you, yet they barely know you which is the crazy part. they feel like they know you but they don't…and that's what so intriguing to them. stranger by jhené aiko is coming to mind, “i know ya face, i know ya name but i don't know you? isn't that crazy? isn't that crazy?” you may judge them at first and already think the worst like “oh i bet they’re a player!” but don’t jump to conclusions! give it a chance. they may actually surprise you and treat you like royalty, cause i feel a lot of adoration coming from their end…even though they know little to nothing about you. i want you around by snoh aalegra is playing in my head, “it's somethin' 'bout the way you stare into my eyes. i know that i don't make things clear. i fall for you every time i try to resist you.” they’re gonna fall hard for you pile 1. they’re definitely going to want to get serious and make this official which will shock you both, because of how fast things will just come together naturally. AHHH I LOVE IT.

other channeled messages:

whoa by snoh aalegra, kiss me thru the phone by soulja boy ft. sammie, tattoos, glasses, scorpio placements/scorpio moon, wifey, bright smile, almond shaped eyes, petite figure, girl of my dreams, kissin’ on my tattoos by august alsina, u are my high by dj snake & future, prominent air sign placements

pile 2 ⚖️ —

hiiiii pile 2 💓 right away i’m hearing that your crush feels like you’re unattainable? you might be really popular or a naturally social person that everyone clings to, and they find this a bit intimidating. they don’t know how to approach you – they've been trying to figure out how to get your attention but little do they know that they already have it. y'all might have a dynamic like summer and seth from ‘the O.C.’ and/or stiles and lydia from ‘teen wolf’ aw when they find out you like them back it'll most likely catch them off guard like “who?! ME?!” lol they’re so cute. you’re very dreamy to them, they'll damn near start drooling when you’re in close proximity to them…i’m also hearing that they love the way you dress. you show just enough to let their imagination wander lol idk if they wanted me to say that cause i can see their cheeks getting red and them getting all flustered 🤣 let me just say that they respect you so much! they’ll feel so lucky to finally get to know you on a personal level because they’ve been inquiring about you for awhile now. you’ll be everything that they dreamed of plus more & vice versa. there’s definitely a best friend dynamic at the root of this connection, you both will be able to be yourselves unapologetically when you're together. i feel sooo much warmth and comfort. idk why belly and jeremiah from ‘the summer i turned pretty’ just popped up in my head lol but yeah they will love holding you gently and staring into your eyes longingly 😩 SO ADORBS.

other channeled messages:

the cool girl & the gamer boy, no idea by don toliver, just talk to her dude, victor from corpse bride, timothée chalamet, bilingual, hit different by sza ft. ty dolla $ign, my forever boy, good days by sza, skateboarding

pile 3 ⚓️ —

pile 333 💫 what's up!!! i channeled a song for y'all already, come over by aaliyah is coming in strongly. “i know you're asleep but you're on my mind and i'm wide awake and i wanna stop by.” ooo there’s a very sensual vibe between you and your crush, a lot of sexual attraction and tension i'm picking up. you two would make a great looking couple — a lot of people will be looking at you two when you're interacting with each other. it's like “can those two get a room already and just fuck” LMAOOO some will be hating but others will just be admiring like damn i wish i had that. i feel like your crush makes you act really shy lol you try to muster up the courage to look them in the eye and be bold but you fold every time lol i’m hearing them say “don’t be shy baby” 😩 your crush knows what they're doingggggg omg they just love to tease you. a couple that's coming to mind is joey and pacey from ‘dawson's creek’ you may not have paid them much mind initially but one day something clicked and you were like damn…i really like them. it might take a little minute for y'all to officially get together but once you two do…WHEW. i told y'all the sexual tension is through the roof — i’m hearing this is that 90’s r&b type of love. a lot of slow burn and building up to the real thing. they think so much about what it'll be like to finally be able to hold you, kiss you and treat you properly. you evoke a lot of inspiration, motivation and passion in them pile 3 <3

other channeled messages:

halfcrazy by musiq soulchild, take a picture it'll last longer, lavender haze by taylor swift, muse by partynexydoor, capricorn placements/capricorn venus, you're like my own personal brand of heroin - edward cullen (lol)

[foxpile]

hey how many of the foxes do you think have mugshot photos

like andrew and aaron for sure.

probably renee with her gang history.

im feeling inclined to say that neil would have gotten one taken after the baltimore incident and the only reason he didn’t was because he was hospitalized directly afterwards and then offered witness protection.

i feel like allison probably like vandalized shit when she was younger to spite her parents but they never cared and paid it all off before she ever actually got arrested so no mugshot there.

kevin absolutely not.

i feel like dan has been involved in a tussle or two that may have ended in police intervention but she is also Fast so they never catch her.

matt i’d say maaayyybbeee but also like dan i think if the police ever showed up to arrest him he would be Fast and also Good At Hiding but it’d be like a 50/50 chance.

seth would be the same as matt i think tbh. like yanno that one john mulaney skit with that guy who threw a bottle on the floor and yelled “scatter!!” when the police showed up? that’s seth. idk if he’ll get away but he WILL cause a scene and that’s what we’re here for baby!!

anyways all this to say: do you think fans ever print out their mugshots and put them on posters to wave around at their games? do you think the foxes have printed out their mugshots and taped them up on the photo wall? discuss.

[magics-neptunes-things]

Mockingjay - Part 12

Hi guys!

New chapter for Mockingjay!

Once again thank you very much to the people who follow this serie since the beginning and welcome to the new ones!

Please enjoy ♥

TW : Deaths, blood, gun, angst, swearing.

Chapter Before

Ona forgets anything. She forgets that Enya has a gun and that she can shoot her at any moment if she wants to. She sees some blood on the sand and hears the canon somewhere above her head.

She’s running for Lucy, letting herself fall on her knee next to her. There is blood on her shirt.

She’s scared to death, way more scared that she was when she was fighting against Camden and Seth. Or even when she had to save Lucy against Tony. Seeing Lucy in danger has nothing to do with Lucy being dead.

The younger one wonders in a part of her head how she’s still able to breathe with all those feelings. She feels like her chest will explode under the pressure and all of this. This is too much.

When she kneels next to Lucy, Ona ignores Enya completely, even if she’s on the ground too.

With shaking hands, Ona cups softly Lucy’s face. She has blood splatters on her face in addition to what is on her shirt.

But then she realises that her beautiful green eyes are looking back at her, and she wonders if she can throw up in relief.

“Lucy?”

“I… She pulled the trigger at the wrong time and…” Lucy tries to say with a trembling voice.

Ona shakes her head, her thumb stroking softly her jaw.

“No. She did it at the right time.”

Ona’s voice is soft, especially after those shouts, the gun and all those emotions. Lucy finally sits up, looking at her shirt.

“I need to wash this”

Ona nods before standing up. She still hasn’t slept for two days and she feels her head turning. The sun is burning, her back and her legs are still aching and she’s starting to be really mentally tired.

“Let’s get out of this desert” Ona mumbles.

Lucy gives her her bow back and just when they were going to leave, her eyes fell on Leane. She’s still laying on the ground, her eyes turned to the sky.

“Wait” Ona frowns. “We can’t let her like this”

Lucy follows Ona’s gaze and bites her bottom lip. To be honest, she was more focused on saving Ona than anything else. She forgot Leane, but Ona’s right, they can’t let her like this.

Lucy looks at the gun on the sand and hesitates before taking it in her hand.

“Do you want to…?”

They share a look during some seconds, but Ona finally nods, slowly taking the gun in her hand. Lucy seems exhausted too and Ona doesn’t want her to have to kill someone more.

The gun in her hand is heavier than she thought, the metal burning because of the sun. She takes several steps to be near Leane. The eyes of the girls are half-closed and her breathing is very low.

“I’m sorry” Ona whispers. “May you rest in peace.”

She closes her eyes and even turns her head before pulling the trigger. The noise is very loud, seeming to tear the sky apart. Only two seconds after that, they hear the cannon once again.

Ona feels Lucy's presence next to her, her aura comforting next to her. She lets Lucy take the gun after that, looking at her when she sees her sighing.

“It was the last bullet” she informs Ona. “But we can keep it, the others don’t know we don’t have some anymore. It still can scare them.”

Ona hums and looks at Lucy putting the gun in her belt. And then, she gratefully takes the hand Lucy proposes to her.  It’s comforting too, very soft after all of this. They walk silently to the bridge, looking around to be sure that no one is waiting for them at the end of it.

But it’s not the case.

Ona feels dirty, so when Lucy proposes to go to the river to wash themselves, she doesn’t hesitate before accepting. They are still silent during this walk, both lost in their thoughts. Lucy’s hand in her hand is the only thing keeping Ona really here.

The fresh and clear water is a relief. Ona doesn’t hesitate before jumping on it, wanting to wash those last hours of her skin. Lucy is a little less extreme, she just removes her shirt to wash it and uses it after to wash her body.

“You look exhausted” Lucy whispers when she’s clean again.

Ona is sitting on the ground, her back against a tree and she actually has to fight very hard not to fall asleep right now.

“I am” Ona answers before rubbing her eyes.

Feeling a little useless, Lucy looks at Ona. They could go back to their mountain, but the walk is long, and they maybe don’t have the strength for it right now. Lucy feels her heart melt with how cute she finds Ona right now, all tired and rubbing her eyes almost like a baby.

“What about a nap on the trees? Isn’t it where you slept at the beginning of the Games? Just show me how you did it.”

A little bit later, they are sitting on a branch on one of the biggest trees they could find. They climbed as high as possible too, choosing a branch big enough for them to sit together on it.

Lucy is sitting behind Ona, holding protectively the younger one against her. Ona could sleep right now, but her mind is running. Lucy isn’t talking and Ona wonders if the older one is thinking too and what about. Some time passes before Ona’s voice is finally heard.

“I need to talk to you about something”

“Anything you want”

Lucy’s answer is given with her deep voice being noticeably calm given the circumstances. Ona feels her body relax a little bit more against Lucy's.

“I don’t know how to say that, so I’m just going to say it like it comes” Ona prevents her.

Lucy hums her answer, kissing softly Ona somewhere between her ear and her neck, making Ona shiver.

“If something happens to you…” Ona begins.

“Ona…”

“No, let me continue please” Ona cuts, waiting for Lucy’s nod before continuing. “If something happens to you, I won’t continue. I just can’t imagine living in a world where you aren’t here.”

Lucy stays silent at first, thinking of a way to say things without hurting Ona. She gets the feeling, but the idea of something happening to Ona is really hurting her inside too.

“I get where you come from Ona. But if something happens to me, I would rather for you to fight for your life. You still have your brother, your parents and your friends outside of this”

“Are you saying that if something happens to me, you will continue this?”

Lucy stays silent once again, she never thought about it to be honest. She’s just fighting for their life, trying to stay alive with Ona. She knows of course that there can only be one survivor, but she hasn’t thought about it for now.

“It’s not the same thing. I don’t have anyone waiting for me outside” Lucy finally answers.

“What about your niece and your nephew?” Ona frowns.

“They can live without me”

“Well, I can’t”

Lucy sighs softly, tightening her hold around Ona’s waist. She doesn’t like imagining a world where Ona isn’t. But once again, she understands where Ona is coming from. And she knows that she won’t have the last word in this conversation. With time, she learned that Ona can be pretty stubborn when she wants to. She knows she doesn’t stand a single chance here.

“I have another question” Ona says after a little bit more time.

“What is it?”

“Earlier, Enya mentioned you by saying you were my girlfriend”

Ona frowns, playing with Lucy’s fingers. She doesn’t really know how to finish her question, to be honest. She suddenly doesn’t even know which direction she wanted to take with that. It’s just that the statement has stayed in her head since then and she needs to share it with Lucy.

It’s maybe stupid to consider someone like her girlfriend in this situation.

But Lucy seems to understand Ona’s hesitations. She waits for several seconds to see if Ona wants to say something else and she talks when she sees that it’s not the case.

“You’re not only my girlfriend” Lucy answers softly. “You’re the love of my life too”

“You’re going to make me cry”

Lucy chuckles and kisses her cheek, until Ona turns her head to exchange a real one. She’s not going to talk once again about how she wishes things would be different. Like Jana said in her dream, she’s lucky to have something like that once in her life. At least, if she dies tomorrow, she would have been able to know what true love is.

After that they stay in silence for a long moment, just enjoying each other's presence and some rest while they can. Just when Lucy starts to think once again that Ona fell asleep, the brunette talks again.

“Can you talk about the stars and constellations once again?”

“Sure” Lucy smiles.

Ona snuggles even closer against Lucy, her face half-hiding in the crook of her neck. Lucy’s voice lulls her and she might have fallen asleep at some point. She realises it when Lucy calls her with a soft voice, her fingers stroking softly on Ona's arm.

“There’s something for you I think”

Ona blinks and looks around, a little lost. She’s exhausted and she wouldn’t have been against the idea of a twelve hours of sleep in Lucy’s arms. She finally spots what Lucy was talking about and understands quickly that it’s something from the sponsors. Her name is written on it.

She opens it and frowns immediately.

“What is it?” Lucy asks.

“I don’t know.”

She looks up and shows the box to Lucy, who looks at it before smiling softly. She then raises her eyes on Ona.

“I think I know what it is. What does the paper say?”

Ona reaches for the piece of paper and unfolds it before reading it in her head. She smiles when she recognizes Alexia’s handwriting. She misses her mentor too; she would have loved to see her one last time.

“Eat that and you will feel more rested. Continue to listen to your heart, people love you and Lucy together. I’m so proud of you.”

Ona shows the piece of paper to Lucy, who reads it with still her soft smile on her lips.

“Gummies. That’s what I thought.”

“You take two and I take two?”

It’s not really a question, because Ona is putting two of them in Lucy’s hand without waiting for her answer.

“No. It’s for you, not for me”

Lucy tries to give them back to Ona, but the younger one refuses, shaking her head.

“We are a team. What’s mine is yours”

Lucy rolls her eyes but finally accepts the gummies and eats them slowly. She looks at Ona chewing them, seeing the tiredness slowly getting erased on her pretty face. The dark circles under her eyes are less black and the features of her face seem less tired too. Even her face’s injury seems less important like this.

“It’s impressive” Lucy mumbles.

She carefully strokes Ona’s face near her eyes and her cheek, where she got hurt several days before now. Stitches would have been needed if they had been in regular day life.

She smiles when she crosses Ona’s gaze, softly kissing her forehead. She feels so whipped that it’s almost embarrassing, but she decided way sooner that she doesn’t really care.

Ona deserves soft Lucy.

“So what are the plans for tomorrow?” Ona asks.

Lucy hums softly while thinking. They still have to fight against Tony, Camden and Kayla. They haven’t seen them for a long time and maybe the three of them are working together now. Tony seems to have been alone during all the Games, but how did he survive his injuries alone?

“We need to find them” Lucy finally answers. “Maybe not to fight them at first, but we have to know where they are”

“And if they are together” Ona adds, seeming to think the same way as Lucy.

The older one nods softly.

“Do you think that Tony could be with Camden and Kayla?”

Ona stays silent for several seconds, thinking a little before answering. She doesn’t really know Tony after all. They said hi to each other every time he came to see Joan and we can’t say that they talked a lot before the Games.

“I don’t know, maybe? I mean he’s injured… He probably knows that he doesn’t stand a chance alone. We are two and two against him, it’s better for him to stick with someone. We almost killed him, it makes sense that he tries with Camden and Kayla.”

Lucy nods, seeming to think that Ona’s reflection is pretty good. Or at least that it makes sense.

“We need to find a way to go near the starting point without being seen” Ona thinks out loud.

Lucy nods once again, her fingers stroking slowly against Ona’s back. She passed her hand under Ona’s hoodie, loving to feel Ona’s skin under her fingers.

“For that the better solution is to pass by the forest. Maybe staying high in the trees to see them without being seen?”

“It’s a good idea” Ona smiles softly.

She jumps when the music announcing the death of the people resonates in the arena. It’s the same thing every day but it scares her every time. Lucy smiles softly, pressing her lips against Ona’s temple.

Ona looks at Enya and Leane pictures’, sighing softly at the end of the music. She knows that it’s a miracle that she’s still alive, as well as Lucy. Even if the other girl has way more chances than her. Ona knows she got lucky and was helped by the right person at the right time.

Lucy saved her several times; Teagan helped her too to kill the boy from the 5. She may have begun the Games alone, but the alliances she made during the Games were good for her.

Lucy’s strategy went pretty great too.

Alexia’s word makes her happy too, she’s glad that her mentor and friend is proud of her. And the fact that her relationship with Lucy is well accepted by the people is good news too.

“We need to sleep a little bit though, like this we will be more rested. We can start to walk near the starting point just before the sun start rising?”

“Works for me” Ona answers.

Lucy smiles, taking her girlfriend against her once again. Ona smiles, cuddling against Lucy. It’s maybe not the most comfortable place, even the boxes in that room in the Capitol were comfier than this. But at least she’s with Lucy and it’s that matter for her.

Just like they decided several hours ago, they start to move at the end of the night. The forest is very silent around them, making every noise impressive. The lack of animals in the forest is always strange for Lucy. For Ona less, she’s not used to being in so much vegetation. She grew up in the 8 and all of those buildings. She’s more used to cement and concrete than trees and the ocean.

She listened with stars in her eyes when Lucy described the place where she lives. She would love to see it. She regrets a lot that they are confined in their District and not authorized to leave them.

When they arrive at the point they chose earlier, they climb a tree and keep their “walk” like this. It’s a little bit slower like this, but at least they are safe. After almost twenty minutes like this, Lucy suddenly grabs Ona's arm to stop her.

Frowning, Ona turns in Lucy’s direction. The older one points silently to something on the ground, almost ten meters under them. Ona follows the direction and needs several seconds to see what Lucy is showing her.

“A trap” she quietly mimics to Lucy.

It’s basic to be honest, but really perfectly made. It’s probably hard to see it if you are walking on the ground.

Ona wonders silently who can do something like that. Tony? She doesn’t really believe this, Tony almost never came in a surviving class. Camden and Kayla came several times, taking turns with their District’s partner.

They keep passing from tree to tree, careful not to make any sound. Seeing something isn’t easy like this, they are hidden but it makes it harder for them to see too.

They finally made a pause at Lucy’s request, drinking some fresh water and resting a little bit. Ona is smaller and agile, it’s easier for her to move in the trees than for Lucy. Even if the older girl is pretty great too.

They were drinking when they finally hear what they were looking for. Voices under them.

Ona lies on her branch to try to see Camden or Kayla. She finally sees something, and it seems to her that Camden is sitting on a rock while Kayla is passing around. With the noise, Ona quickly understands that she’s making fire.

“We need to go to find them” Kayla says.

Camden sighs, seeming to play with his hammer against a branch. Or at least, something metallic.

“The arena is giant. If they are hiding on the mountain, we will never find them.  We don’t even know if they killed those two girls or if they died alone”

“I told you” Kayla answers with annoyance. “They both gain one more death to the dashboard. They killed them.”

“Where do you think they had the fight?”

“How am I supposed to know?” Kayla snorts. “I’m not a fucking soothsayer. Maybe you should try to move your ass too from time to time.”

“I’m hurt” Camden almost shoot. “That fucking whore ruined my knee. I can’t even walk correctly like this. I want her dead. She will pay for this. I’m going to ruin her.”

Ona shivers but she tries hard not to show it to Lucy. She almost forgets that she hurt Camden during their fight, the day Teagan died. She was way more focused on Teagan and his death than something else. And finding Lucy, of course.

Ona still can see Lucy clench her hands at this. Her knuckles come white under pressure.

“Great and while waiting for this glorious moment, I do everything. You are two and I’m making everything.”

“He almost died. I’m in a way better state.”

“We should have killed him, I told you” Kayla whispers.

“He still can be useful. He knows Batlle.”

There is a silence after that and Ona sits back, looking at Lucy. She won’t talk or say anything, they can’t take any risk. But at least they know now that they are together, and they know where to find them.

“He couldn’t bang her during the time in the Capitol and now she’s with Bronze. How the hell can he find her? He is useless.”

Ona doesn’t know where Tony is right now, but she doesn’t like the way they are talking about her.

It’s nothing to have with the way Lucy reacts though. Ona has to take her arm and squeeze it pretty hard to make her stay here.

It’s too soon, they need a plan to fight them. It’s what she tries to say to Lucy, only talking with her eyes. But Lucy only seems to want to go down and pass her nerves on Kayla.

Next Chapter

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I will fully admit that Dan's (over)reaction to Kevin revealing that Wymack is his father puzzled me for the longest time. When Neil breaks the news and they're discussing it, they talk about how it isn't fair to Wymack that Kevin shouldn't have kept that information from him for so long. And I thought, "I mean, yeah must be shocking for Wymack...but like...how exactly is that anyone else's business?" Seems a bit...childish to hold it against Kevin?

I mean, ok, Dan clearly idolizes Wymack and thinks of him as a father figure. She's been taking care of everyone around her for so long, being the breadwinner in her family when she was in highschool, and now she's the captain of a NCAA Exy team. Dan might be tough and independent enough to handle anything, but for once, she doesn't have to. With Wymack watching out for them, Dan gets to lead without the crushing weight of the responsibility of taking care of everyone else's wellbeing. That's something she didn't have growing up and...That's when I realized that's the point.

The reason Dan was so angry with Kevin is something that we've seen multiple times from different characters. Neil says, "Why did Kevin always get more?" As Seth puts it: "All he has to do is ask for it, and someone will give it to him. Doesn't matter what. Doesn't matter who. The world is dying to give him anything he wants." Riko was so jealous of Kevin that he devoted the rest of his life to ruining him. Dan may be saying "It's not fair to Wymack," but what she actually means deep down is, "It's not fair to me."

That might have been the moment that Dan realized how much she had been hurting for a parental figure. She's been doing it on her own for so long that it's perhaps not occurred to her that there's part of her that is still just a child wanting someone to care for her and to shoulder her burdens. She frames her anger as something she feels on Wymack's behalf, but deep down, it's probably something really simple and childish-sounding: "Why does Kevin get to have Wymack as a father? If it should be anyone, it ought to be me." For the first time in the series, we see Dan acting sulky and immature. She storms off and rebuffs even Matt when Matt tries to talk to her. For the first time, we're shown a glimpse of the trauma and hurt that Dan is carrying around with her beneath her competence and strength.

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Rewatching Marble Hornets really has me questioning why Alex wasn't really included in Creepypasta media, at least alongside his peers with Masky and Hoodie.

This may be spoilers if you've never watched Marble Hornets before (its 15+ years old, but I digress).

First I do want to establish that in Marble Hornets.

Alex is the acting antagonist, Jay is our unreliable protagonist and narrator, Tim eventually becomes a side protagonist. Hoodie is a side character who often seems to help our protagonists. Every other character are side characters that help move things forward and intensify plot- when I go into detail on some characters, some of what I say can be applied to them too.

Next, the Operator's way of controlling it's "proxies".

The Operator has some sort of aura that, when exposed, causes some sort of illness. Coughing fits, seizures, and presumably more. It's presence also in turn causes paranoia, insomnia, memory loss, and a general loss of senses. This is what it seems to use to control others.

You see this with all characters in the series, how ill they get, how paranoid they get, how the worse these all are the more they do things for the Operator. You see this happen to nearly everyone.

For Tim, he is able to eventually curb this via medications, presumably seizure medications. It doesn't fully stop Tim from being controlled by the Operator and acting as Masky, but it does over time seem to make it happen less and less. You also see Masky act in later acts of the series against the Operator, or at least for Jay.

Hoodie is interesting, because you really don't see much from him, but most of his appearances is helping Jay, and you find his house full of medication bottles, presumably stolen from Tim or from some other means. The totheark videos have many purposes. They can threaten Jay, or they can warn him, they can help him. In some you see messages which echo and parrot the drawings Alex makes, in others you see him give Jay clues. He both works for the Operator, but against him and Alex at the same time.

Jay starts off as seemingly one of the only people on the cast/crew of Marble Hornets to not get involved when Alex first started his shenanigans. He remembers Marble Hornets and starts looking, immediately he gets sick and paranoid and starts encountering the Operator. He is tired and irritable, and towards the end you see him make more and more rash decisions, violent decisions. His path seems to mirror Alex, the only difference is that Jay wants to stop all of this.

Alex is the most interesting, because you almost never if at all see him ill. You can presume that maybe he saw the Operator as a kid, as one of the totheark videos show childhood home videos of him and mark him with the Operator's symbols and show's the being there, but you never see it. Alex acts under the operator seemingly at all times. He starts off paranoid, maybe even afraid, but very quickly he becomes numb to it. Seth and Sarah die very early on. He attacks Brian, Tim- all so early on, and he seems to feel no remorse for it. Eventually, it does seem like he falls away from the influence. He moves away, stops recording. This goes on for years, until his girlfriend finds his old camera. Almost instantly the Operator is there. She is missing, but he survives. Once again, the moment the Operator is involved he works under him without skipping a beat. He knows she's gone, he drags Jay into it to stop him from searching further, or perhaps to be a magnet to finish the job of those who escaped before. Alex doesn't have any sort of alter ego. He remembers, he remembers everything. Perhaps he acts out of self preservation, but something else is going on. Alex starts to corrupt the footage just like the Operator, he seems to be able to call it to him and he approaches it, stands in it's wake unaffected. He's too far gone, maybe he always was.

All of this is to say, he is the villain of this story. He may eventually be defeated, but you could argue Tim gets better and moves on and never is a proxy again.

Alex should have, and should be viewed as a more scary person, with the likes of other creepypastas, because for all intents and purposes he was the Operator's favorite, and the one to carry out it's wants and to carry out it's actions. Hoodie and Masky disobeyed time and time again, Alex continued without question or remorse. Killing people not even involved with the story.

Just in terms of story, for the longest time Masky and Hoodie were side characters that popped up once every several entries. It wasn't until over half way through that Tim becomes a central character. Alex is always there. It's his story, it's his tapes, it is him who brought the Operator to them all over and over and over again, he is the main character with Jay as a narrator of things he has done. It all leads back to him.

Something something, i think 15 years is long enough to give this evil guy a bit of spotlight in his own story.